58 An Artificial Age : Port, the Patron^ and the Pillory. 



would have perished off the face of the earth. No ordinary 

 step could be taken in life without a bottle of port. A serious 

 step demanded a second, and sometimes a third ; after the 

 third — well, I am inclined to think that the gravity of the 

 situation was not appreciably diminished. I have often won- 

 dered if they knew anything about the racking of whisky. The 

 subject is not a pleasant one to dwell upon. I will only give 

 you one instance of the important part played by the " bottle 

 of wine " in the daily life of the period. Of course, it was 

 only to be expected that Goldsmith, when unfortunate enough 

 to be arrested for debt at the instance of the person who was 

 unfortunate enough to be his landlady, should send out for a 

 bottle of wine until Dr. Johnson — who, by the way, told the 

 story — arrived to unearth the '' Vicar of Wakefield ; " but what 

 about Dr. Johnson himself ? You are all familiar with Car- 

 lyle's references to Dr. Johnson as " our real Primate " — "the 

 true spiritual edifier and soul's teacher of all England." Well, 

 here is one of Johnson's "reminiscences": — "I remember 

 writing to Richardson from a sponging-house, and was so sure 

 of my deliverance through his kindness and liberality that 

 before his reply was brought I knew I could afford to joke with 

 the rascal who had me in custody, and did so over a pint of 

 adulterated wine, for which at that moment I had no money to 

 pay." Now, there, in Mr. Birrell's words, we have the true 

 warm-hearted literary tradition of the eighteenth century. It 

 is very amusing ; it is full of good feeling and fellowship, but 

 the morality of the transaction from the great moralist's point 

 of view is surely, like his linens, a trifle dingy. The souFs 

 teacher of all England laid by the heels in a sponging house 

 and cracking jokes with a sheriff's officer over a pint of wine 

 on a chance of another man paying for it, is a situation which 

 calls for explanation. To anyone acquainted with the period I 

 think it requires no explanation. " Spiritual edifiers and souls' 

 teachers " had no qualms about cracking a bottle of port — let 

 us hope the qualms came later. 

 The Patron of the period was not invariably the detestable 



