6o An Artificial Age : Pori^ the Patron, and the Pillory. 



rhymed with Poll, and Garrick knew it. How many gener- 

 ations have judged Goldsmith solely on the evidence of Garrick 

 — evidence wholly dependent upon the exigencies of rhyme — 

 " for shortness call Noll, who wrote like an angel and talked 

 like poor Poll ! " Like poor Poll ! The man who described 

 the character of Boswell in four words talked like poor Poll ! 

 When Johnson declared in that fine free style of his, the defect 

 of which was certainly not a lack of decision, that it was quite 

 easy to write a fable, Goldsmith said, '* You couldn't write one, 

 sir, for if you introduced fishes conversing, you would make 

 the minnows speak like whales." If this is talking like poor 

 Poll, all I can say is that poor Poll was the most brilliant 

 conversationalist of the century. What a pity it is that Gold- 

 smith's name was not, let us say, Christopher. In that case 

 the exigencies of the rhyme would have forced Garrick to write 



" For shortness called Kit, 

 Who wrote like an angel and talked like a wit." 



On the pillory of the period I do not care to dwell. But 

 when I think of that great Englishman — the first great journa- 

 list that lived in England — when I think of Daniel Defoe 

 standing in the pillory I feel, ladies and gentlemen, and I trust 

 that you will share the feeling, not that De Foe was degraded, 

 but that the pillory was glorified. They ordered the journa- 

 list's ears to be clipped in those days. Ladies and gentlemen, 

 I think the ears of those who condemned them must have been 

 a good deal longer than those of the journalist's, and conse- 

 quently, offering larger scope to the shearers. They don't crop 

 the journalists' ears nowadays. If the practice still prevailed, 

 I am inclined to think that the fashion of wearing long hair 

 down the side of the head would become very popular among 

 journalists. A good many people would like to have a snip at 

 them. 



The lecturer then proceeded to describe the artificial society 

 of the middle of the last century, referring to the beaux and the 

 belles, subsequently dealing with the literature, science, and 

 art of the period. In conclusion, he said— It would be im- 



