'The children whom I strive to amuse 

 drag me ceaselessly around, pull my 

 tail and pinch my ears, blow in my face 

 and jerk my sensitive whiskers; and if 

 I remonstrate with voice or teeth or 

 claws, I am beaten and kicked and tossed 

 out of doors without even the privilege 

 of trial by jury. 



''I catch the rats and mice which in- 

 fest men's houses, and then when they 

 forget to give me milk which is so nec- 

 •essary to prevent the ill effects which fol- 

 low a diet of meat and I help myself 

 ■delicately to a few laps of cream, I am 

 abused as if I had committed a mighty 

 and unpardonable sin. 



"They call me a necessity, yet they 

 drown my beautiful kittens, or carry 

 ther^ off in bags and cast them helpless 

 .and forlorn upon the mercy of a cold and 

 vcruel world. And then men presume to 

 say that they are made after the image 

 of God, and have been divinely appointed 

 masters of the world ! What blasphemy ! 

 What blind stupidity ! Words fail me in 

 view of these appalling facts." 



Half the assembly was in tears before 

 poor pussy had finished her category of 

 woes. 



A fly buzzed forward with impulsive 

 haste, and spoke with a little rasping 

 voice : 



"We flies are small, but we are mighty. 

 We remove mountains of dirt for un- 

 cleanly men, and how do they reward 

 us? They catch us in traps and drown 

 us with boiling water. They snare our 

 feet with treacherous fly-papers, and 

 after laughing at our struggles to get 

 free, burn us without mercy. Small boys 

 torture us with pins, or pull off legs and 

 wings for what they call 'fun.' If they 

 do not want us about them, why do they 

 make the filth which necessitates our 

 presence? That is a conundrum beyond 

 my solving. I leave it for this wise as- 

 sembly to answer." 



The fly buzzed back to a sunny spot, 

 and an unwieldy hog ambled forward. 



" 'As greedy as a hog,' 'As lazy as a 

 pig.' 'As fat as a pig.' 'No' more sense 

 than a hog.' Have you never heard such 

 expressions as these fall from the lips 

 of men ? They shut us up in little dirty 

 pens where we must needs be lazy, since 

 we cannot run about. They continually 

 tempt us with food, and the more we eat 



the better they like it, since it produces 

 the fat which they aferwards deride. If 

 we weary of dry corn or thin slop, and 

 break through some convenient hole 

 which their own carelessness has left, 

 and help ourselves to the tender cabbages 

 and peas of their gardens, they chase us 

 with yells and sticks and stones, and send 

 their dogs to make devilled ham of us be- 

 fore we are dead." 



His pun so amused the assembly that 

 they were convulsed with laughter. After 

 vainly waiting several minutes for si- 

 lence the hog returned calmly to his 

 place, convinced that he had at least pre- 

 sented his grievances in a striking man- 

 ner. 



A handsome black Spanish rooster 

 strutted forward to the platform, and 

 stretching his neck, called the audience 

 to order with his clear-toned 



"How-do-you-do? I am the 'Cock-o'- 

 the-walk,' " he explaned, "a term which 

 men are pleased to borrow and apply to 

 themselves. They rely upon me to give 

 them warning of the approach of day, 

 and then grumble because I disturb their 

 slumbers. How can they expect to wake 

 up without having their slumbers dis- 

 turbed? That's what I would like to 

 know. They rely upon me to eat the 

 worms and bugs and grasshoppers that 

 destroy their gardens, and then chase me 

 with stones and dogs when they find me 

 in their gardens doing my duty. 



"They pen me up, often for days at a 

 time, with insufficient food and water, 

 and do not even deign an apology for 

 their neglect. 



"My wives supply numerous eggs for 

 men's food, yet they wring our necks 

 without mercy if we venture to eat an 

 egg ourselves when they have forgotten 

 to feed us. 'As full as an egg is of 

 meat,' is a comparison which might 

 properly be balanced with 'As full as a 

 man is of inconsistency.' 



"If men would attend to their business 

 and scratch for a living as I do, the 

 world would be a far better place than 

 it is today." 



He ended amid prolonged applause, 

 and walked proudly to a conspicuous 

 perch, in the sunshine. 



By this time there was much excite- 

 ment among the audience, who all signi- 

 fied a desire to speak at once. While the 



66 



