chairman was busy quieting them with 

 most vigorous barks, a monkey with 

 much agihty made his way over the 

 heads of the audience, and leaped to the 

 platform, where he was ready to make 

 his profoundest bows to the assembly the 

 moment quiet reigiied. 



"You may consider me an alien, since 

 I hail from a far country, yet I am truly 

 American — for even South America re- 

 veres the Stars and Stripes," he said, and 

 his words were applauded by .the very 

 ones who had but a moment previous 

 frowned at his audacity. 



"I hold myself the superior of man- 

 kind since many of their scientists assert 

 that the human race are but highly de- 

 veloped monkeys. To be sure, a few 

 haughty fellows have lately declared that 

 monkeys are but the offspring of degen- 

 erate men, but we monkeys resent such 

 assertions as uncalled-for insults. Why, 

 it is bad enough to have to endure the 

 thought that possibly — mind you, I say 

 possibly, not probably — possibly men 

 have descended from our race. There is 

 no monkey but what lives up to the best 

 of his God-given instincts, whereas, on 

 the other hand, there is no man that does 

 at all times the very be'st that he knows. 

 Therefore, by all the rules of logic, the 

 monkey is superior to the man, and must 

 be thus considered by all fair-minded 

 judges. 



"This, however, is but a prologue to 

 my more serious remarks. I have only 

 been presenting my credentials to this 

 court. 



"May I now proceed to disclose my 

 plan for calling' the attention of ungrate- 

 ful men to the benefactions we are daily 

 bestowing upon them ?" He paused and 

 bowed respectfully to the chairman and 

 then to the audience. 



A thunder of applause greeted his 

 proposition, and the hall resounded with 

 cries of "Good ! good !" "Go on !" "Three 

 cheers for Brother Monkey." 



When quiet was restored, the monkey 

 continued rapidly : 



"Since my time is necessarily spent in 

 intimate association with men, I have 

 taken note of many of their schemes for 

 self-aggrandizement. The most popular 

 at the present time, is the Fair, where 

 everyone seeks to outdo his neighbor and 

 to proclaim his own superiority to the 

 whole world, while he exhibits his own 

 abilities and his own genius by a display 

 of his productions. 



"Now, what I propose is this : Let us 

 secure a convenient enclosure, and let 

 each family of birds and beasts and rep- 

 tiles erect a booth in which to display 

 the gifts which they are daily bestowing 

 upon mankind. Perhaps in this way the 

 hearts of men will be drawn to honor us, 

 and they will — after the ruling passion 

 of men — seek to advance their own in- 

 terests by favoring ours. Does my plan 

 meet with approval? If so, your hum- 

 ble servant feels highly honored." He 

 placed his hand upon his heart and 

 bowed deeply to his audience, then, with 

 customary dexterity, returned to his 

 place as he had come, while the hall re- 

 sounded with prolonged applause. 



The meeting was at once declared a 

 "Committee of the Whole," and vigorous 

 plans were laid for the carrying out of 

 the monkey's scheme. 



Because of his familiarity with such 

 places of resort, the monkey was elected 

 President of the Fair, an office which he 

 accepted with many expressions of hu- 

 mility, and equally numerous feelings of 

 self-complacency. 



Other officers and directors were 

 speedily appointed, the place for holding 

 the Fair selected, and the time set. Be- 

 ing unacquainted Avith the red tape and 

 appropriation-grabbing customs of men, 

 the animals thus speedily brought their 

 business affairs to the working point, 

 and in the utmost harmony adjourned 

 to begin their preparations without de- 

 lay. ]\Tary McCrae Culter. 



67 



