TWAIN LOVES OF JEREMIAH. 



"Do not leave me, I beg of you," im- 

 plored old Jeremiah, standing guard over 

 the opening in the fence. "Believe me, 

 there are dangers outside of which you 

 know not. Snakes frequent the tangle 

 of these weeds and swine lie in wait." 



"Stay, if you are afraid. Stay, any- 

 way," she answered, curtly, and vaulting 

 over him, she went through the fence 

 and called her ten children from the 

 other side. 



Jeremiah struck his white head in the 

 dust, praying her to return. He lunged 

 at the fence and fell back, baffled, his feet 

 beating the air. He floundered upright 

 and ran, entreating, along the fence, his 

 head thrusting between the interstices. 

 The obdurate fair one paid no heed. She 

 was talking baby talk to her followers. 



Jeremiah, after exhausting every ma- 

 neuvre to get through, over or under the 

 fence, resigned himself to the inevitable 

 and began looking around for entertain- 

 ment. He is a great gander to keep 

 something going on. A trim black pullet 

 passed the orbit of his vision and he 

 sauntered up to her. 



"Good evening, Miss Dominie. You 

 are looking charming." 



Miss Dominie tossed her head. "Per- 

 haps," she cackled, "but I can only charm 

 you in the absence of Mrs. Cochin." 



"What do I care for Mrs. Cochin?" 

 protested Jeremiah, and he looked Miss 

 Dominie over with the eye of a connois- 

 seur. She was certainly well bred and 

 she carried herself erect. This was be- 

 cause she had been raised a pet, but Jere- 

 miah ascribed it all to her aristocratic 

 lineage and thought complacently that if 

 any ill fate overtook Mrs. Cochin, Miss 

 Dominie would be a close second in his 

 affections. "Mrs. Cochin is too old," he 

 added. 



"And that is a good thing for you," 

 retorted Miss Dominie. "She is too old 

 to be particular and she may tolerate you. 

 For myself, I draw^ the line at ganders. 

 Chickens are good enough for me." 



"You talk like a preacher," suavely 

 answered Jeremiah, "and I agree with 

 you. They are good enough for me, too," 

 but Miss Dominie had darted around the 

 big coop and was lost to view. At that 

 moment Dollie came out of the house 

 carrying a bucket of water and went 

 from pan to trough, pouring the chickens 

 a fresh drink. With cries of delight, 

 Jeremiah fluttered in her rear, paddling 

 and throwing the water, making it an 

 undrinkable mixture for the chickens. 

 Suddenly his eyes dilated, his neck 

 straightened and stiffened, his wings 

 slightly lifted and his large feet passed 

 each other in rapid succession, fence- 

 ward. Dollie's father was coming from 

 the barn, walking stiffly, his arm pressed 

 against an aching back. His eye caught 

 Jeremiah's and the pursuit began. The 

 man forgot his lame back and plunged 

 forward, gathering small stones which 

 he aimed at Jeremiah. Round and round 

 the fence they went, the man throwing 

 stones and execrations ; the gander gab- 

 bling, ducking, dodging until he be- 

 thought himself of the haven of goose- 

 berry bushes, scrambled under them and 

 into the orchard, through the hedge into 

 the open where, joy inexpressible, Mrs. 

 Cochin and her ten fluffs were tumbling 

 in the dog fennel. 



"At last I have found you, my be- 

 loved," gasped Jeremiah, and he rounded 

 up the chicks and drove them into the 

 orchard. Mrs. Cochin followed, pro- 

 testing. She even flung herself at Jere- 

 miah, with many a cluck and scratch ; but 

 Jeremiah had constituted himself head of 

 her household and, serene in the con- 

 sciousness of right, he took the family 

 through the orchard, under the goose- 

 berry bushes and back into the yard. 



Jeremiah knew that a little of him went 

 a long way with Mrs. Cochin, yet he 

 never lost hope that his persistent devo- 

 tion would win her favor. He had been 

 a lone gander many years. There was 

 not another feather of his kind in the 



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