AUGUST 419 



no value in themselves, but showing that a mine is near.' 

 On the other hand, some girls may think, in perfect 

 innocence, that a kiss means a great deal more than it 

 really does, especially as it is generally taken, not given; 

 and I have even heard of a girl of seventeen who 

 thought she was so lowered by having been kissed by a 

 man that she was bound to marry him to save herself 

 from disgrace. So one girl takes it ; another may think, 

 having once begun, there is no going back, and the 

 onward course is the only possible one. To another, 

 one accidental kiss may be only a great help and pro- 

 tection, teaching her by fear to understand and distrust 

 herself. This state of ignorance ought never to be in 

 a girl who has reached a marriageable age. If the stop- 

 ping of kissing is desirable at twelve, it is equally 

 important that at fifteen or sixteen the mother or an 

 elder sister, or some kind friend, should explain the 

 facts of nature sufficiently to prevent forever the possi- 

 bility of such distorted notions as to the facts of life. 

 There are hundreds of ways of expanding and enlarging 

 a girl's mind so as to increase, rather than diminish, the 

 modesty which is her greatest safeguard, and certainly 

 not the least of her attractions. Indeed, it is a favourite 

 theory of mine that the instincts of life are apt to grow 

 before their protector — modesty — which is more the 

 result of cultivation and civilisation than particularly 

 pertaining to what is natural. All prohibitions wound 

 liberty and increase desire. We, none of us, can defend 

 ourselves from a danger as to the very existence of 

 which we are ignorant. If a girl is trained to under- 

 stand that we are part of that great whole which is 

 called nature, and that, in fact, our common development 

 is shared by every flower that blooms, she is neither 

 surprised nor shocked when further knowledge gathers 

 round her as life expands. This, I believe, will serve as 



