166 THE HISTOKT 0¥ 



ing that malignant disorder in its most aggravated form. 

 He tolerated no birds in his yard that weighed less than 

 ten pounids at six months, and he allowed no eggs ,upon his 

 table that were not of a dark mahogany color, . and of the 

 flavor of pine shavings. He supplied his own table with 

 poultry, and the said poultry consisted of elongated drum- 

 sticks, attached by gptta-percha muscles and catgut sinews to 

 ponderous breast-bones. He frequently purchased a ' crower ' 

 for a figure that could have bought a good Morgan horse ; 

 but then, as the said crower consumed as much grain as a 

 Morgan horse, he could not help being perfectly satisfied 

 with the bargain. His wife complained that he was ' mak- 

 ing ducks and drakes ' of his property ; but, as that involved 

 a high compliment to his ornithological tastes, he attempted 

 no retort. lie satisfied himself that it ' would pay in the 

 end.' His calculations of profits were 'clear as mud.' He 

 would h^v? a thousand hens. The improved breeds were 

 warranted to lay five eggs apiece a week ; and eggs were 

 worth — that is, he was paying — six dollars a dozen. His 

 thousand hens would lay twenty thousand eight hundred 

 and thirty-three dozen eggs per annum, which, at six dol- 

 lars per dozen, would amount to the sum of one hundred 

 and twenty-four thousand nine hundred and ninety-eight 

 dollars. Even deducting therefrom the original cost of the 

 hens and their keep, — say thirty-six thousand dollars, — the 

 _ very pretty trifle of eighty-eight thousand nine hundred and 



