THE IIISTOKY OF THE HEN FEVER. 191 



doubt that " he would feel much better when it was done 

 aching." (A prediction which, I have no question, has 

 been accurately fulfilled, ere this.) 



The man who could succeed, as he had, with no-haired 

 horses, gutta-percha mermaids, fat babies, etc., and who had 

 gone into and out of fire-annihilators, prepared mastodons, 

 illustrated newspapers, copper mines, defunct crystal pal- 

 aces, and the like, unscathed, would scarcely be jeopardized 

 by an attack of the prevailing malady of the day, however 

 violently it might exhibit itself in his case. And so there 

 was hope for Phineas, though his symptoms were really 

 alarming. 



My friend took the very best possible means for alleviat- 

 ing the virulence of his attack ; and, looking about him for 

 the largest-siarec? humbug known in the trade, he alighted 

 upon a two-hundred-and-forty-pound Connecticut joker, 

 who quickly offered to inform him how he could find relief 



" How shall I do it, John? " exclaimed Phineas, as his 

 fat friend made his appearance. 



" Heesiest thing in life," responded John ; "hall you 'ave 

 to do is to put yer 'and in yer pocket." 



''So?" said Phineas, putting his fist gently out of 

 sight. 



"No — you aren't deep enough down yet," replied 

 John. " Go down deeper. That 's better, — that '11 do." 



" How much '11 it cost ? " queried Phineas. 



