IS45 EARLY JOURNAL 1 5 



years' living. I hardly care to look back into the seething 

 depths of the working and boiling mass that lay beneath all this 

 froth, and indeed I hardly know whether I could give myself 

 any clear account of it. Remembrances of physical and mental 

 pain . . . absence of sympathy, and thence a choking up of 

 such few ideas as I did form clearly within my own mind. 



Grief too, yet at the misfortune of others, for I have had few 

 properly my own ; so much the worse, for in that case I might 

 have said or done somewhat, but here was powerless. 



Oh, Tom, trouble not thyself about sympathy; thou hast two 

 stout legs and young, wherefore need a staff? 



Furthermore, it is twenty minutes past two, and time to go 

 to bed. 



Biichlein, it will be long before my secretiveness remains so 

 quiet again ; make the most of what thou hast got. 



