ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. 79 



more than a dozen tablespoonfuls of strong spirits of camphor. The reason why it 

 took no more laudanum was because there was no more to take. After this it lay 

 down on its back, and shoved five or six inches of a silver-headed whale-bone cane 

 down its throat ; got it fast there, and it was all-its mother could do to pull the cane 

 out again, without pulling out some of the child with it. Then, being hungry for 

 glass again, it broke up several wine-glasses, and fell to eating and swallowing the 

 fragments, not minding a cut or two. Then it ate a quantity of butter, pepper, 

 salt, and California matches, actually taking a spoonful of butter, a spoonful of salt, 

 a spoonful of pepper, and three or four lucifer matches at each mouthful. (I will 

 remark here that this thing of beauty likes painted German lucifers, and eats all 

 she can get of them ; but she prefers California matches, which I regard as a com- 

 pliment to our home manufactures of more than ordinary value, coming, as it does, 

 from one who is too young to flatter.) Then she washed her head with soap and 

 water, and afterwards ate what soap was left, and drank as much of the suds as she 

 had room for ; after which she sallied forth and took the cow familiarly by the tail, 

 and got kicked heels over head. At odd times during the day, when this joy for 

 ever happened to have nothing particular on hand, she put in the time by climbing 

 up on places, and falling down off them, uniformly damaging herself in the opera- 

 tion. As young as she is, she speaks many words tolerably distinctly ; and being 

 plain-spoken in other respects, blunt and to the point, she opens conversation with 

 all strangers, male or female, with the same formula, " How do, Jim.'" Not being 

 familiar with the ways of children, it is possible that I have been magnifying into 

 matter of surprise things which may not strike any one who is familiar with infancy 

 as being at all astonishing. However, I cannot believe that such is the case, and 

 so I repeat that my report of this baby's performances is strictly true ; and if any 

 one doubts it, I can produce the child. I will further engage that she will devour 

 anything that is given her (reserving to myself only the right to exclude anvils), 

 and fall down from any place to which she may be elevated (merely stipulating 

 that her preference for alighting on her head shall be respected, and, therefore, 

 that the elevation chosen shall be high enough to enable her to accomplish this to 

 her satisfaction.) But I find I have wandered from my subject; so, without further 

 argument, I will reiterate my conviction that not all babies are things of beauty- 

 and joys forever. 



