8o MARK TWAIN'S SKETCHES. 



•• Arithmeticus." Virginia, Nevada. — " I am an enthusiastic student of mathematics, and it is 

 so vexatious to me to find my progress constantly impeded by these mysterious arithmetical tech- 

 nicalities. Now do tell me what the difference is between geometry and conchology ? " 



Here you come again with your arithmetical conundrums, when I am suffering 

 death with a cold in the head. If you could have seen the expression of scorn that 

 darkened my countenance a moment ago, and was instantly split from the centre 

 in every direction like a fractured looking-glass by my last sneeze, you never would 

 have written that disgraceful question. Conchology is a science which has nothing 

 to do with mathematics : it relates only to shells. At the same time, however, a 

 man who opens oysters for a hotel, or shells a fortified town, or sucks eggs, is not, 

 strictly speaking, a conchologist — a fine stroke of sarcasm that, but it will be lost 

 on such an tnintelleetual clam as you. Now compare conchology and geometry 

 to;^ether, and you will see what the difference is, and your question will be answered. 

 Ijiit don't lortiire nie with any more arithmetical horrors until you know I am rid 

 of iny colu. I feel the.bitterest animosity towards you at this moment — bothering 

 mc in this way, when I can do nothing but sneeze and rage and snort pocket- 

 handkerchiefs to atoms. If I had you in range of my nose, now, I would blow 

 your bjrains out. 



