ISO MARK TWAIN'S SKETCHES. 



if I ever enter that district again ; and I am perfectly satisfied they will, too." 



" Well, sir, I did not know I was doing any harm. I only wanted to 



convince them." 



"Ah. Well you <//(/ convince them, I make no manner of doubt. Now, hpre 



is another specimen. I gave you a petition from certain gentlemen of Nevada, 



praying that I would get a bill through Congress incorporating the Methodist 



Episcopal Church of the State of Nevada. I told you to say, in reply, that the 



creation of such a law came more properly within the province of the State 



Legislature ; and to endeavor to show them that, in the present feebleness of the 



religious element in that new commonwealth, the expediency of incorporating 



the church was questionable. What did you write.'' 



" ' Washington, Nov. 24. 

 " '^ev. yohn Halifax and others. 



" ' Gentlemen : You will have to go to the State Legislature about that speculation of yours — • 

 Congress don't know anything about religion. But don't you hurry to go there, either ; because this 

 thing you propose to ■■do out in that new country isn't expedient — in fact, it is ridiculous. Your 

 religious people there are too feeble, in intellect, in morality, in piety — in everything, pretty much. 

 You had better drop this — you can't make it work. You can't issue stock on an incorporation like 

 that — or if you could, it would only keep you in trouble all the time. The other denominations 

 •would abuse it, and "bear" it, and "sell it short," and break it down. They would do with it just 

 as they would with one of your silver mines out there — they would try to make all the world believe 

 it was " wildcat." You ought not to do anything that is calculated to bring a sacred thing into 

 disrepute. You ought fo be ashamed of yourselves — that is what / think about it. You close your 

 petition with the words : " And we will ever pray." I think you had better — you need to do it. 



" 'Very truly, etc., 



" ' Mark Twain, 

 " ' For James W. N**, U. S. Senator.' 



" Tnal luminous epistle finishes me with the religious element among my 

 constituents. But that my political murder might be made sure, some evil 

 instinct prompted me to hand you this memorial from the grave company of 

 elders composing the Board of Aldermen of the city of San Francisco, to try 

 your hand upon — a memorial praying that the city's right to the water-lots upon 

 the city front might be established by law of Congress. I told you this was a 

 dangerous matter to move in. I told you to write a non-committal letter to the 

 Aldermen — an ambiguous letter — a letter that should avoid, as far as possible, 

 all real consideration and discussion of the water-lot question. If there is any 

 feeling left in you — any shame — surely this letter you wrote, in obedience to 

 that order, ought to evoke it, when its words fall upon your ears: 



