194 MARK TWAIN'S SKETCHES. 



■' ~ ' " ■ " ... II- - . — ■... ,,-,., — .■■, M^ 



" Calm yourself, calm yourself," I said. " It is too bad — it is certainly too bad, 

 but then I had not supposed that you would much mind such matters, situated as 

 you are." 



" Well, my dear sir, I do mind them. My pride is hurt, and my comfort is 

 impaired — destroyed, I might say. I will state my case — I will put it to you in 

 such a way that you can comprehend it, if you will let me," said the poor skeleton, 

 tilting the hood of his shroud back, as if he were clearing for action, and thus 

 unconsciously giving himself a jaunty and festive air very much at variance with 

 the grave character of his position in life — so to speak — and in prominent contrast 

 with his distressful mood. 



"Proceed," said I. 



" I reside in the shameful old graveyard a block or two above you here, in this 

 street — there, now, I just expected that cartilage would let go ! — third rib from the 

 bottom, friend, hitch the end of it to my spine with a string, if you have got such a 

 thing about you, though a bit of silver wire is a deal pleasanter, and more durable 

 and becoming, if one keeps it polished — to think of shredding out and going to 

 pieces in this way, just on account of the indifference and neglect of one's poster- 

 ity! " — and the poor ghost grated his teeth in a way that give me a wrench and a 

 shiver — for the effect is mightily increased by the absence of muffling flesh and 

 cuticle. " I reside in that old graveyard, and have for these thirty years ; and I 

 tell you things are changed since I first laid this old tired frame there, and turned 

 over, and stretched out for a long sleep, with a delicious sense upon me of being 



■ done with bother, and grief, and anxiety, and doubt, and fear, for ever and ever, and 



■ listening with comfortable and increasing satisfaction to the sexton's work, from the 

 startling clatter of his first spadeful on my coffin till it dulled away to the faint 

 patting that shaped the roof of my new home — delicious! My! I wish you could 

 try it to-night ! " and out of my reverie deceased fetched me with a rattling slap 

 with a bony hand. 



" Yes, sir, thirty years ago I laid me down there, and was happy. For it was out 

 in the country, then — out in the breezy, flowery, grand old woods, and the lazy 

 ■winds gossiped with the leaves, and the squirrels capered over us and around us, 

 and the creeping things visited us, and the birds filled the tranquil solitude with 



