3l8 MARK TWAIN'S SKETCHES. 



"All! Why bless you, there was my income from the Daily Warwhoop for four 

 months — about — about — well, what should you say to about eight thousand dollars, 

 for instance ? " 



" Say! Why, I should say I should like to see myself rolling in just such anothel 

 ocean of affluence. Eight thousand ! I'll make a note of it. Why man ! — and on 

 top of all this I am to understand that you had still more income .'' " 



" Ha ! ha ! ha ! Why, you're only in the suburbs of it, so to speak. There's my 

 book, 'The Innocents Abroad' — price $3.50 to $5.00, according to the binding. 

 Listen to me. Look me in the eye. During the last four months and a half, saying 

 nothing of sales before that, but just simply during the four months and a half, we've 

 sold ninety-five thousand copies of that book. Ninety-five thousand ! Think of 

 it. Average four dollars a copy, say. It's nearly four hundred thousand dollars, 

 my son. I get half." 



" The suffering Moses ! I'll set that down. Fourteen-seven-fifty — eight — two 

 hundred. Total, say — well, upon my word, the grand total is about two hundred 

 and thirteen or fourteen thousand dollars ! Is that possible ? " 



" Possible ! If there's any mistake it's the other way. Two hundred and four- 

 teen thousand, cash, is my income for this year if / know how to cipher." 



Then the gentleman got up to go. It came over me most uncomfortably that 

 maybe I had made my revelations for nothing, besides being flattered into stretch- 

 ing them considerably by the stranger's astonished exclamations. But no ; at the 

 last moment the gentleman handed me a large envelope, and said it contained his 

 advertisement ; and that I would find out all about his business in it ; and that he 

 would be happy to have my custom — would in fact, be proud to have the custom 

 of a man of such prodigious income ; and that he used to think there were several 

 wealthy men in the city, but when they came to trade with him, he discovered that 

 they barely had enough to live on ; and that, in truth it had been such a weary, 

 weary age since he had seen a rich man face to face, and talked to him, and 

 touched him with his hands, that he could hardly refrain from embracing me — in 

 fact, would esteem it a great favor if I would let him embrace me. 



This so pleased me that I did not try to resist, but allowed this simple-hearted 

 stranger to throw his arms about me and weep a few tranquilizing tears down the 

 back of my neck. Then he went his way. 



