DAUGHTERS 347 



more than she likes to do, and apportions certain depart- 

 ments — such as housekeeping, card-leaving, writing notes, 

 or gardening, &c. — to one or other of the daughters. The 

 vague expectation in a mother that her daughter ought to 

 help her, often results in a good deal of ordering about, a 

 waste of time on the daughter's part, and that state of 

 things generally which ends in friction. If a daughter is 

 unusually unselfish, and constantly thinking how she can 

 please and serve her mother, the result is that the 

 daughter becomes a mere drudge, while the mother but 

 half appreciates the sacrifice she has made of her life. 



We often discover in families the ideal woman of 

 family hfe. She is always wiUing to immolate herself 

 on the altar of duty and unselfishness, unconscious of 

 this at the time, because to serve others is her pleasure, 

 and consequently for the moment the development of 

 her own nature. That woman, especially if she has 

 intelligence as well, fiUs a want in the world that 

 everyone acknowledges and admires. But, unless the 

 situation is carefully watched, she herself may dis- 

 cover too late that she has let her youth go by in the 

 suppression of herself, and, without intending it, has 

 ruined her own life. The one thing that is of vital 

 importance is that the young should never be sacrificed 

 to the old or the healthy to the unhealthy. Even if the 

 mother and daughter work well together, there is hardly 

 enough to occupy the time of two women, and divided 

 rule never is satisfactory. It is a common view that 

 housekeeping is rather an inferior employment for women, 

 and only done well by the commonplace, who are devoted 

 to it. I do not think this, though I quite admit that 

 housekeeping is often very tiresome — or, rather, I would 

 say wearisome — and every woman pines to get away from 

 it now and then. Every head of a house — be she wife, 

 mother or daughter — has to do it, and no woman worth 



