THE TEXAN HUNTRESS. 279 
with my wicked, scornful gibing at everything men hold 
sacred. As to women—“ to search the bottom of annoy,” 
and gall, and pain them with the most studied and cruel rail- 
lery, was an especially pleasant recreation—the enjoyment 
of which was heightened in the precise ratio of their beauty 
and wit—or, as I pretended to myself, of their power to 
deceive and ruin the moral lives of others, as mine had been 
blasted by them. At last I sickened of such tame amuse- 
ments. 
I thirsted—my blood was on fire for sterner excitements—I 
longed to meet death face to face, and look on carnage. It 
was an anticipated ecstacy of proud and fierce delight—the 
thought of meeting my detested fellows openly at the weapon’s 
point. I had champed with the social manacles on, over my 
stifled hate, until endurance was no longer possible. I looked 
around upon the world for the scenes and circumstances fitted 
to the gratification of such pleasant humors. Texas was a 
very paradise of monsters—the vicious, the desperate, the 
social and civil outlaws of all the world had gathered there. 
Delightful fraternity of devils !—they were fighting among 
themselves, fighting with the Mexicans, fighting with the 
Indians, and for recreation—to keep their hands in—were 
battling with the wild beasts. Charming existence! How it 
attracted me! how I yearned to participate in its pleasures. 
I madly severed the few remaining ties, and started for this 
El Dorado of the ruffian. 
My friends saw me go, I believe, with a mournful sense of 
relief. Though I had been guilty of no overt outrage against 
the laws of society, yet my moral presence had become pesti- 
lential, and they felt that the morbid disease which was 
withering up my soul, must find its own cure. I found myself 
in just the element I needed in this country. I met with 
men capable of all I dared to do—as hard and reckless, as 
God-defying and man-hating, as could be desired. I felt at 
home and ‘at ease with such men—we understood each other! 
