876 WILD SCENES AND WILD HUNTERS. 
I cannot tell how long I lay there, but I fell with a portion 
of my body in the water, and this revived me. I waked to 
consciousness, with my brain clearer than it had been for 
;several days. I felt that the game was all up now, anda 
strange calmness took possession of me. I smiled even, to 
think what a wild feverish struggle I had gone through to 
preserve a boon so utterly worthless as life now seemed— 
and how foolishly obstreperous and bitter I had been about 
things that now appeared as mere conventional whimsicalities! 
To die! why it is a sweet, a glorious prospect! What was 
life without the joy and happiness of dying? To die of 
starvation! It will be deliciously pleasant, as being lulled 
to sleep by the roundelays of home. 
Strange! I never thought of God now but as a name; it 
was an inevitable law of being I obeyed, gladly and meekly! 
The fancy took possession of me that I wanted to lie down 
on the green moss under the trees. I must make one more 
effort to get there. J attempted to crawl, but was too weak, 
and fell! I lay for some time, and still that fancy haunted 
me so singularly, that my powerless limbs regained a partial 
vigor; I crawled on my hands and knees up the bank. It 
took me a long time to do this. I felt as if it was my last 
duty, and desperately I struggled to accomplish it. I passed 
my gun and dragged it along with me. I thought of the 
wolves, and wanted to go to sleep in peace. 
I reached the mott. There was one bright green spot, 
under the largest tree, in the, centre. That’s the place. 
It will be a lovely couch. I managed to reach it, and 
stretched myself upon my back, with my gun by my side, 
and my head resting on a cushion of moss near the root. 
My eyes were closed. An indescribable sense of weakness’ 
pervaded my being. I felt that I should never rise from 
that place again. But I was happy. The agony was over; 
the “fitful fever” had grown cal, and was slowly sinking 
me to rest. The loved faces of that far away home came 
