84 THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF DOTS AND DASHES. 



hatli taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he he 

 charged loith any business, but he shall be free at home for one year, 

 and shall cheer up Ms wife which he hath taken." It is to be hoped 

 that if said business man ever found the verse his conscience would 

 smite him as a deserter from the domestic hearth. 



The question is often asked : What happens when two telegrams 

 meet on the same wire? The same thing that happens when two 

 trains collide. One has to give way to the other. Josh Billings says 

 " a collision is the result of two trains trying to pass each other on a 

 single track, and from the reading of newspaper bulletins, it gener- 

 ally appears to be a failure as a success." When two operators open 

 circuit simultaneously they know the fact without waiting long for 

 the " messages to come together," for electricity that would encircle 

 the globe five times in a second doesn't take long to travel a few 

 miles across the countiw. Before rules of precedence were as well 

 established as they now are, obstinate operators frequently browbeat 

 the timid ones, by contending for circuit and wrecking the other fel- 

 low, as it were. About the most characteristic story told, in fact a 

 whale story on this point, is on a certain night operator, who always 

 silenced his companion at the other end of the line and had the last 

 word. The latter, to get even after contending for some time, put 

 the office chronometer in the circuit, which opened and closed it each 

 second, and he then went home. Next morning a disturbance was 

 noticed still going on, and upon the clock being silenced our fighting 

 friend sung out cheerfully: '"Ha! Ha! I knew I would tire you out." 

 He had fought the clock all night and came off conqueror. 



Many manipulators of the key, who, like Buffalo Bill's bronchos, 

 were spoiled in their training, are too profuse in the use of dots, 

 when they get beyond three or four, and such errors as P. Pope for 

 H. Hope occur, and people frequently find a change back from "p" 

 to "h" necessary to the understanding of their telegrams. Well trained 

 operators, however, seldom fall into the errors I have pointed out, 

 and the qualifications that make a good operator show themselves in 

 sending and receiving alike. In other words, a good, careful sender 

 is usually a clear and careful penman, and vice versa. 



These interesting jottings could be continued to considerable length, 

 but the limits of space at their disposal warns me to remember that 

 brevity is sometimes necessary to insure an interested perusal of 

 even an interesting topic. 



