40 



A HUMOROUS BISCAYAN. 



no less than ten or twelve gentlemen on their legs 

 all speaking at once, at the full stretch of their 

 voices, and accompanying every remark with some 

 theatrical gesticulation. Others kept their seats, 

 thinking perhaps that they might thereby have a 

 fah'er aim at the table, which rung from end to end 

 with the blows by which these jovial orators sought 

 to enforce their arguments. 



Meanwhile the dinner went on as if nothing 

 remarkable was passing; the plates and dishes were 

 changed by the servants and the amateur waiters, 

 with such singular dexterity, that in spite of this 

 vast disorder, the bottle passed in safety, and more 

 and more rapidly ; the noise increased ; the bawlers 

 became more numerous ; and by the time the 

 dinner was well over, the party fell to pieces, and 

 all seemed uproar and confusion ; groups of four 

 or five, and sometimes twice that number, might be 

 seen clustered together, all speaking or singing at 

 once. I never was more astonished than at seeing 

 men, on all other occasions perfect models of de- 

 corum, suddenly lose their formality, and act like 

 professed topers and merry-makers. At first, 

 judging by the analogy of Europe, I thought this 

 must needs end in blows, and stood prepared to 

 avoid the bottles and glasses, which were soon 

 likely to be flying about. But after a little while, 

 it was easy to discover more sounds of mirth than 

 of anger ; and as the ladies, who must have been 

 accustomed to such scenes, sat very composedly, 

 viewing it all with great delight, I became reassured, 

 and kept my place. 



Something like order was presently restored by 

 the feats of a merry Biscayan, who dressed himself 

 like a cook, by throwing off his coat and waistcoat, 

 turning up the sleeves of his shirt above the elbows, 

 and pinning a napkin across his breast. Those who 

 knew him of old were immediately aware of what 

 he was going to do, and roared out, " Pastel ! pas- 

 tel ! " (a pie ! a pie !) upon which all singing, drink- 

 ing, and talking were put an end to for a season, 

 and every one crowded round to see this famous 

 pie made. 



The Biscayan first indicated by signs that a large 

 dish was to be supposed before him, into which he 

 pretended to place a number of ingredients,naming 

 each as he affected to put it into his pie. These 

 ingredients consisted principally of his friends, 

 some of whom he inserted whole ; of others he 

 appropriated merely some ridiculous quality or 

 characteristic peculiarity ; and as he chose only 

 such persons as were present, the laugh went 

 round against each in his turn. His satire was 

 sometimes very severe, especially against the ladies; 

 and at length he pretended, after a long and witty 

 preface, to cut up the curate, who was sitting op- 

 posite, and thrust him into the dish, to the un- 

 speakable delight of the company. No one enjoyed 

 the laugh more than the priest himself. But 

 the Biscayan was too judicious to risk tiring his 

 audience with any more of the pie after this last 

 happy sally, so catching up a guitar, an instrument 

 always at hand wherever Spanish is spoken, and 

 casting his eyes round the company, he addressed 

 an extempore verse to each of the principal guests; 



then jumping off the table, on which he had seated 



himself to play the guitar, he set about imitating 



the manner of walking and speaking of five or six 



different provinces of Spain. This mimicry, though 

 lost upon US, appeared to be so accurately done, 



that he could scarcely begin an imitation before a 

 number of voices called out " Gaditano ! " " Gal- 

 lego ! " or whatever might be the province the 

 manners of which he was representing. 



His last feat was one which certainly would not 

 have been permitted a year or two before in a 

 country so bigoted, or indeed in any country under 

 Spanish control. Having taken a table-cloth, he 

 dressed himself like a priest, and assuming the most 

 ludicrous gravity of countenance, went through a 

 part of the ceremony of high mass, to the infinite 

 delight of the company, who shook the house with 

 peals of laughter. The curate was nowhere to be 

 seen during this exhibition, which he could not, I 

 suppose, have permitted to go on in his presence, 

 although, indeed, everything serious seemed ba- 

 nished for the time. 



Immediately after this joke, the noise ceased, 

 the party broke up, and and every one went off to 

 his siesta, with a composure and steadiness which 

 showed that the greater part of the preceding riot 

 was the effect of choice, not of intoxication ; to 

 which, certainly, in appearance, it was most 

 closely allied. To satisfy myself on this point, I 

 entered into conversation with several of the most 

 boisterous of the party ; but they were now so 

 perfectly quiet and sedate, that it was difficult to 

 believe they were the same individuals, who, but a 

 few minutes before, had been apparently so com- 

 pletely tipsy. 



CHAPTER XLV. 



A Case of Conscience adroitly managed. — Penance and 

 Marriage, Offence and Expiation.— Expedition to the 

 Top of a Mountain. — Absurd Jealousy of the Local Au- 

 thority^ — Illustrious Ayuntamiento's Despatch. 



Some days after this dinner, I went to the Con- 

 vent of La Cruz to visit a friend who was doing 

 penance, not for a sin he had committed, but for 

 one he was preparing to commit. The case was 

 this : Don N. had recently lost his wife, and, not 

 choosing to live in solitude, looked about for an- 

 other helpmate ; and being of a disposition to take 

 little trouble in such a research, or probably 

 thinking that no labour could procure for him a 

 companion more suitable than his own house 

 afforded, he proposed the matter to his lately 

 lamented wife's sister, who had lived in his house 

 for several years before ; and who, as he told me 

 himself, was not only a good sort of person, but 

 one well acquainted with all the details of his 

 household, known and esteemed by his children, 

 and accustomed to his own society. 



The church, however, looked exceedingly grave 

 upon the occasion ; not, however, as I at first sup- 

 posed, from the nearness of the connexion, or the 

 shortness of the interval since the first wife's death, 

 but because the intended lady had stood godmother 

 to four of Don N.'s children. This, the church 

 said, was a serious bar to the new alliance, which 

 nothing could surmount but protracted penance 

 and extensive charity. 



Don N. was urgent, and a council was assem- 

 bled to deliberate on the matter. The learned 

 body declared, after some discussion, the case to 

 be a very knotty one ; and that, as the lady had 

 been four times godmother to Don N.'s children, 

 it was impossible she could marry him. Never- 



