Chap. XXXII. THE AUTHOR'S POSITION. 677 



they, understanding the matter, replied, " Nay, father, you will 

 not die ; you will return to take us back to Sekeletu." They 

 promised to wait till I came back, and, on my part, I assured 

 them that nothing but death would prevent my return. This I 

 said, though while waiting at Kilimane a letter came from the 

 Directors of the London Missionary Society, stating that " they 

 were restricted in their power of aiding plans connected only 

 remotely with the spread of the Gospel, and that the financial 

 circumstances of the Society were not such as to afford any 

 ground of hope that it would be in a position, within any definite 

 period, to enter upon untried, remote, and difficult fields of 

 labour." This has been explained since as an effusion caused by 

 temporary financial depression ; but feeling perfect confidence 

 in my Makololo friends, I was determined to return and trust to 

 their generosity. The old love of independence, which I had so 

 strongly before joining the Society, again returned. It was roused 

 by a mistaken view of what this letter meant, for the Directors, 

 immediately on my reaching home, saw the great importance of 

 the opening, and entered with enlightened zeal on the work of 

 sending the Gospel into the new field. It is to be hoped that 

 their constituents will not only enable them to begin, but to 

 carry out their plans ; and that no material depression will ever 

 again be permitted, nor appearance of spasmodic benevolence 

 recur. While I hope to continue the same cordial co-operation 

 and friendship which have always characterised our intercourse, 

 various reasons induce me to withdraw from pecuniary dependence 

 on any Society. I have done something for the heathen, but for 

 an aged mother, who has still more sacred claims than they, I 

 have been able to do nothing, and a continuance of the connec- 

 tion would be a perpetuation of my inability to make any pro- 

 vision for her declining years. In addition to " clergyman's sore 

 throat," which partially disabled me from the work, my father's 

 death imposed new obligations ; and a fresh source of income 

 having been opened to me without my asking, I had no hesita- 

 tion in accepting what would enable me to fulfil my duty to my 

 aged parent as well as to the heathen. 



If the reader remembers the way in which I was led, while 

 teaching the Bakwains, to commence exploration, he will, I 

 think, recognise the hand of Providence. Anterior to that, when 



