60 MY LIFE 



years is in itself an evil, and must almost certainly have had 

 an injurious effect upon the bodily health. Even in my home- 

 life I was subject to impressions of the same general nature, 

 though far less severe. Many slight faults of conduct which 

 had been long overlooked were often suddenly noticed, and I 

 was ordered at once to change them. One such that I re- 

 member was that I had been accustomed to use my spoon at 

 table with my left hand, when I was one day told to use my 

 right. No doubt I could have done this without much trouble, 

 but I seemed to feel that to make such a change would be 

 singular, would draw the attention of my brothers and sisters 

 to me, and would be a kind of confession of ignorance or clum- 

 siness which I could not make. I felt too much ashamed to do 

 it. I put down my spoon and waited, and when I thought no 

 one was looking, took it up again in the way forbidden. This 

 was said to be obstinacy, but to me it seemed something else 

 which I could hardly describe. However, the result was that 

 I was sent away from the table up to my bedroom, and was 

 ordered to have my meals there till I would " do as I was 

 bid." I forget exactly how it ended, but I think I remained 

 under this punishment several days, and that it was only under 

 the kind persuasions and advice of my mother and sisters that 

 I was at length allowed to come down ; and this was the most 

 terrible ordeal of all, and when I actually took the spoon in 

 my right hand, I felt more hurt and ashamed than when I was 

 sent away from table. This is only an example of numbers of 

 little things of a similar character, which were treated in the 

 same rough and dogmatic manner, which was then almost 

 universal, and was thought to be the only way of training 

 children. How, exactly, to treat each case must depend upon 

 circumstances, but I think that a little mild ridicule would 

 have a better effect than compulsion. I might have been told 

 that, although we did not much care about it, other people 

 would think it very strange, and that we should then be 

 ashamed because people would say that we did not know 

 good manners. Or I might have been asked to practise it 

 by myself, and try the experiment, using sometimes one hand 

 and sometimes the other, till at last, when the holidays or my 



