196 MY LIFE 



personal expenses ; but every year or two, when I went home, 

 what new clothes were absolutely necessary were provided 

 for me, with perhaps ten shillings or a pound as pocket money 

 till my next visit, and this, I think, was partly or wholly paid 

 out of the small legacy left me by my grandfather. This 

 seemed very hard at the time, but I now see clearly that even 

 this was useful to me, and was really an important factor in 

 moulding my character and determining my work in life. 

 Had my father been a moderately rich man and had he supplied 

 me with a good wardrobe and ample pocket-money ; had my 

 brother obtained a partnership in some firm in a populous 

 town or city, or had he established himself in his profession, I 

 might never have turned to nature as the solace and enjoy- 

 ment of my solitary hours, my whole life would have been 

 differently shaped, and though I should, no doubt, have given 

 some attention to science, it seems very unlikely that I should 

 have ever undertaken what at that time seemed rather a wild 

 scheme, a journey to the almost unknown forests of the Ama- 

 zon in order to observe nature and make a living by collecting. 

 All this may have been pure chance, as I long thought it 

 was, but of late years I am more inclined to Hamlet's belief, 

 when he said — 



" There's a divinity that shapes our ends, 

 Rough-hew them how we will." 



Of course I do not adopt the view that each man's life, in all 

 its details, is guided by the Deity for His special ends. That 

 would be, indeed, to make us all conscious automata, puppets 

 in the hands of an all-powerful destiny. But, as I shall show 

 later on, I have good reasons for the belief that, just as our 

 own personal influence and expressed or unseen guidance is 

 a factor in the life and conduct of our children, and even of 

 some of our friends and acquaintances, so we are surrounded 

 by a host of unseen friends and relatives who have gone 

 before us, and who have certain limited powers of influencing, 

 and even, in particular cases, almost of determining, the 

 actions of living persons, and may thus in a great variety of 

 indirect ways modify the circumstances and character of any 



