306 MY LIFE 



had we not kept a constant lookout to keep clear of them. 

 We remained near the ship all night in order that we might 

 have the benefit of its flames attracting any vessel that might 

 pass within sight of it. 



" It now presented a magnificent and awful sight as it rolled 

 over, looking like a whole caldron of fire, the whole cargo of 

 rubber, etc., forming a liquid burning mass at the bottom. In 

 the morning our little masts and sails were got up, and we 

 bade adieu to the Helen, now burnt down to the water's edge, 

 and proceeded with a light east wind towards the Bermudas, 

 the nearest land, but which were more than seven hundred 

 miles from us. As we were nearly in the track of West 

 Indian vessels, we expected to fall in with some ship in a few 

 days. 



" I cannot attempt to describe my feelings and thoughts 

 during these events. I was surprised to find myself very 

 cool and collected. I hardly thought it possible we should 

 escape, and I remember thinking it almost foolish to save my 

 watch and the little money I had at hand. However, after 

 being in the boats some days I began to have more hope, and 

 regretted not having saved some new shoes, cloth coat and 

 trousers, hat, etc., which I might have done with a little trou- 

 ble. My collections, however, were in the hold, and were 

 irretrievably lost. And now I began to think that almost all 

 the reward of my four years of privation and danger was lost. 

 What I had hitherto sent home had little more than paid my 

 expenses, and what I had with me in the Helen I estimated 

 would have realized about £500. But even all this might 

 have gone with little regret had not by far the richest part of 

 my own private collection gone also. All my private collec- 

 tion of insects and birds since I left Para was with me, and 

 comprised hundreds of new and beautiful species, which would 

 have rendered (I had fondly hoped) my cabinet, as far as 

 regards American species, one of the finest in Europe. Fancy 

 your regrets had you lost all your Pyrenean mosses on your 

 voyage home, or should you now lose all your South American 

 collection, and you will have some idea of what I suffer. But 

 besides this, I have lost a number of sketches, drawings, notes, 



