56 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION 



The next speaker does not need any introduction. He 

 knows that he needs not to talk too long, so I introduce W. 

 S. O'Hair, President of the Illinois State Dairymen's Asso- 

 ciation. 



MR. W. S. O'HAIR: I wonder why Tie Smith left the 

 room. Now I am sure you do not want any long talks. You 

 do not want any accidents as we are all in here pretty 

 close. 



I attended a banquet like this last fall up in Northern 

 Illinois and the fellow that was speaking kept going too long 

 and the chairman took his mallet and he seemed to aim to 

 hit his mallet to rap for order and he hit an old white head- 

 ed man, and he grabbed him and shook him and said "I 

 beg your pardon, I beg your pardon, '* and the old fellow 

 said "I can still hear him. Hit me again.*' 



Now I would make you a speech. I have two speeches 

 that I deliver. I am a little different from Dr. Hepburn. 

 He goes over the country with eight or ten titles. I have 

 two, but one of these I am a little careful about delivering. 

 I am like the little boy on the street car. A very dirty-faced, 

 dirty nosed boy was riding on a street car in Chicago and 

 a very beautifully dressed lady got on the car and sat be- 

 hind him and she said, ''Son, have you a handkerchief?" 

 And he said ''Yes, but I never lend it to strangers." But I 

 have a speech I will give you a little later. A friend of 

 mine with his wife and twenty-one children, was sitting at 

 the breakfast table the other morning, and she said to him, 

 "Charley this high chair is getting kind of rickety and I 

 am afraid that this baby that is dressed in green will fall 

 out and hurt her," and Charley said to Mrs. Taylor, "After 

 breakfast you go down in town and get a new chair, a sub- 

 stantial one that will last a little while." 



I got oif of the train the other morning down at the 

 Big Four station and I went into the waiting room and I 

 saw several ladies holding their skirts and pushing them 

 down over their knees. I said to an elderly lady "what is 

 the matter?" She said "Haven't you heard." I said "No". 

 She said "Laborn Watson is looking for two more calves." 



