FIFTY-THIRD ANNUAL CONVENTION 69 



The other day I was invited to speak at East St. Louis 

 and I had work in the office that took longer than usual and 

 I reached that meeting barely in time to go on the platform, 

 and the chairman of the meeting finding out I had not had 

 time for lunch, in introducing me he said, "A minister who 

 was to preach was being entertained by one of the congre- 

 gation. He did not eat very much and the good lady asked 

 him if he did not like the food or why he did not eat. He 

 told her if he would eat a good square meal he would not 

 be able to preach a good sermon. On returning home the 

 gentleman of the house asked his wife what she thought of 

 the sermon and she said she thought the minister had just 

 as well have eaten his meal." So I have had a good time. 



TOASTMASTER : A man was condemned to be hung 

 and the judge said "Prisoner, you have a right to make a last 

 request if you want to and you might do it now," and the 

 prisoner said, "I can't think of any thing I want to request 

 except I would like one more opportunity to shave the 

 District Attorney." I am sure we would all like one more 

 opportunity to get at our friend Muckelroy, and when ever 

 the dairymen want anything done in southern Illinois they 

 call on Professor Muckelroy and I am going to call on him 

 right now. 



PROF. R. E. MUCKELROY, Southern Illinois State 

 Normal, Carbondale, Illinois: Mr. Toastmaster, Ladies and 

 Gentlemen : I was somewhat surprised when I saw my name 

 on the program, but I suppose I need not be surprised for 

 when I came I found the old fellows here and I missed one 

 gentleman and I said, "Where is O'Hair?" And one of the 

 gentlemen said, "Haven't you heard of his trouble last 

 night?" and I said, "No," and one of the fellows said, "Last 

 night or this morning between one and two o'clock Mr. 

 O'Hair called down to the clerk of the hotel and said 'Clerk, 

 this is Mr. O'Hair of Paris. I am in trouble up in my room. 

 There is a couple of mice up here and I can't sleep' and the 

 clerk said *what are you paying for your room' and Mr. 



