FIFTY-THIRD ANNUAL CONVENTION 71 



the story goes of two men who started out once upon a 

 time to find the happiest man in the world, and as they went 

 from place to place they thought the doctor as the happiest 

 man in the world because he relieved so much pain and 

 suffering; and as they went on they came to a minister and 

 they thought he was the happiest man in the world be- 

 cause he had sent so many to the great beyond, and finally 

 they went on and some one said, **I will tell you who the 

 happiest man in the world is. It is Mark Twain because he 

 made so many laugh." So they went the long road to the 

 home of Mark Twain, and Mark Twain came to the door 

 with his hair down over his eyes, very much in distress and 

 trouble, and the men said to him, ''We have come here to 

 find the happiest man in the world." He said, '1 don't know 

 what you came here for. I have been feeding this fire for 

 ten days with my manuscripts, and I can't write anything. 

 I can't get my story to come out right," and the men said, 

 "Tell us your trouble, Mr. Twain, maybe we can help you 

 out." Mr. Twain said, *T am writing the love story of a 

 couple who in their old boyhood and girlhood days were 

 sweethearts, and the young man had left and gone out into 

 the world to seek his fortune and after he had been gone 

 about forty years his heart turned back to the scenes of his 

 old boyhood and he came back to his old home. His 

 mother was gone; his father was gone; his sister was gone; 

 and his brother was living on the old home place. He rode 

 around the place in an old one horse shay and finally he 

 came to the old swimming hole and he longed to take a 

 swim as he did in years long gone by. He hitched his horse, 

 took off his clothes and went in and took a swim and he 

 came out drying himself as only a country boy can do. He 

 had on his shirt, tie and his collar and he heard the rattle 

 of a wagon coming through the bushes, and as it came near- 

 er he saw something must be done, and he ran and jumped 

 in the buggy and pulled the lap robe over his lap and he 

 tried to keep from being seen; but as the wagon came near- 

 er he saw three parties in there; rather a healthy man and 

 woman, and behind on an old board was a middle aged 

 lady. As they came nearer the lady looked, and as she 



