36 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION. 



read his sermons, whereupon the other replied: "Well, I'll tell 

 you exactly why; after you have written your sermon the devil 

 comes along and looks it over and knows just exactly what you 

 are going- to say ; but when I get up to preach, the devil himself 

 doesn't know what I am going to say." 



We came here on your invitation today because we thought 

 you meant it, and we take you at your word. 



We really already feel at home in your midst and gather 

 from the elaborate preparations that have been made for our 

 comfort and pleasure that we are indeed welcome. 



All men are more or less of evolutionists. Darwin advanced 

 the theory and we have all proceeded to accept it. Some men 

 claim they evoluted from the monkey, and we believe them. 

 Others evoluted from a hog, and we believe them. But we claim 

 not to have evoluted from a cow, and its up to us to substantiate 

 this. Watch us. We began in this world by being dairy men 

 and we continue our occupation. No evolution in that. Some 

 of us, though, are like the fellow who was pulling and hauling 

 at an old cow that he was trying to get home. Being tired out 

 in the process, he sat down by the roadside to rest and a man 

 came along the road and accosted him, asking him what was the 

 difficulty. He told him, whereupon the newcomer pulled out of 

 his satchel a box of something and rubbed a little along the cow's 

 spine. Immediately the cow picked up her ears and with head 

 erect and tail extended she disappeared down the road. Where- 

 upon the man who owned the cow, said : "Have you any more 

 of that stuff?" The man answered "Yes." "How much is it?" 

 asked the man. "Twenty-five cents," replied the other. Hand- 

 ing him a quarter, the dairyman said : "I will take a box, and, 

 sir, if you will just apply a little of that to my spine I would 

 like to catch that cow." 



We are all trying to catch the fellow who gets ahead. We 

 claim we are the greatest benefactors to mankind. We supply 

 to the world the most healthful, most nutritious and the cheapest 

 article of food in the world. There is nothing combined in one 

 article that is more a perfect food than whole milk. 



