14 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION. 



By Mr. Lumbard : — I wish I could have permission to say- 

 how delighted I am to be here. It. is good to meet old friends, 

 like coming home, until I have to go away again. In fact, when 

 I apply for transportation, I only take it one way now. I go 

 back the way I can. I am like the man who died in Omaha 18 

 or 19 years ago. He went to heaven and asked permission of 

 St. Peter to go in. He asked on what grounds. "Where are 

 you from?" He told him he was from Omaha, Nebraska. St. 

 Peter had to look up that place. He finally found it on the map 

 on the Missouri River. "On what grounds do you claim admis- 

 sion?" He told him he had been in business for 20 years in 

 Omaha; always friends with everyone; generous to the poor. 

 He told St. Peter he hadn't belonged to any church, made no 

 profession of religion but he had always done right and thought 

 he was entitled to admission. St. Peter looked up his record 

 and found he had been telling the truth. "All right, sir, you are 

 the kind of man we want, walk in and make yourself comfort- 

 able." He found a beautiful city, diamond door knobs, electric 

 lights, beautiful groves and flowers. But one day he went to St. 

 Peter and told him he was lonesome, he didn't meet any acquaint- 

 ances or friends. Two weeks went by and he finally asked St. 

 Peter if there was any communication with the other place. 

 Peter told him there was, that he could go one day and back 

 again the next with a return trip ticket. He told him he had 

 been there two weeks and would like to go down and look around. 

 He gave him his ticket and he walked away, but came back and 

 told St. Peter not to bother about a return trip ticket, one way 

 would do. That is the way I feel when I come to these con- 

 ventions. 



I want you all to join in the chorus of the Battle Hymn 

 of the Republic. 



Encored. 



