THIRTY-FIFTH ANNUAL CONVENTION. 155 



"Something is wrong. I am not saying you are watering 

 your milk, I am going to find out if the cows are giving water 

 in place of milk". 



The farmer became very anxious and could not wait. "I 

 might as well tell you I did water my milk". 



"What for?" I asked him. 



"To cool it." 



I told him it was a poor policy, that he had better call on 

 the iceman, or, better still, to sell what comes direct from the cow. 

 I know from what I saw delivered this morning that your pur- 

 pose is not to cool the product, but that of getting back a lot of 

 skim milk. 



He said, "I can show you I am not watering the milk 

 very much. You come to the milk house and I will show you 

 how much water I put in an 8-gallon can." He picked up a can 

 cover and said that was the amount of water he put in each can. 

 His young son stood beside him and he said: "Papa I thought 

 you put a pailful in each can." 



Toastmaster : — We have with us another man who is almost 

 a national character. I was going to tell when I introduced him 

 that I had kept the best until last. I take pleasure in introducing 

 Mr. Marple of Chicago. 



Mr. Marple on Dairy Boys : — A man went to a physician to 

 be treated for a disordered stomach. The doctor told him if he 

 would drink hot water an hour before breakfast, it would help 

 him. On seeing him a few days after and asking how he was 

 getting along, the man said : "I will drink hot water ten minutes, 

 but I can't drink it an hour." 



I am not always ready to talk, but I am always interested in 

 the funny side of a situation. I tell you honestly tonight that I 

 am situated a good deal as the man was who went with his wife 

 to a fashionable ball. Just before he entered the house he fell 

 down and cut his clothes across the knee. She said to come into 

 the room where the ladies took off their wraps and she would 

 pin it up for him with a safety pin. When she examined the rent, 

 she found that it was more than she could pin up so as to hide it. 



