158 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION. 



possibly be conferred, by asking me to talk about the Illinois 

 farmers boy. In conclusion, this boy has always been taught in 

 the public school, when talked to by the teacher, that there is a 

 chance for every boy to become president of the United States, 

 and that seems to be the highest ambition. I admire the boy 

 who, in a crowd the other day when he was told that, said he 

 would sell his chance for ten cents. You can't fool that boy and 

 you can't always fool his mother. 



I will tell you of a man who tried to fool his wife and let 

 you see how he came out. A traveling man, whose wife was 

 suspicious that he was too free with waiter girls at hotels where 

 he visited, told him she would like to take a trip with him over 

 his territory. She made the trip with him, and when about 

 through he knew what she went for, because in the thankfulness 

 of her heart she told him when about nearly home. She apolo- 

 gized to him and told him she was satisfied that the love he bore 

 her made him never think about any one else but her. When 

 she had made this confession they were taking their last meal at 

 a hotel and when he gave his order and it was brought to him, 

 he found ,among different things he had ordered, one item that 

 had been left out. That was honey. When the waitress came 

 he asked her where his honey was and she said: "She ain't 

 working here no more." 



Toastmaster : — The next will conclude our banquet. I wish 

 to thank you and to compliment the citizens of Clinton for com- 

 ing here and taking part in the exercises this evening. When 

 you come out and assist it is always remembered. I take it upon 

 myself to thank you on the part of the Illinois State Dairymen's 

 Association for your kind consideration to us this evening. Mr. 

 Lumbard will sing again for us. 



Song. Mr. Lumbard : — This is my first visit to Clinton, and 

 I want to add something to the speech made tonight by the mayor. 

 He spoke of the advantages of this city, educational, churches, 

 etc., but he failed to mention the chief characteristic. He should 

 have said Clinton is populated by men of heart and men of head. 



Orchestra selection closed the program. 





