110 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION 



get much fresh air in your lungs; get a job and go to 

 work." The lawyer went out to hunt a job and finally 

 came to a place after trying several times. He was very 

 much discouraged, he had had a hard time getting a job 

 — this fellow was a real lawyer — but finally he found a 

 farmer who said, "What can you do?" Being a lawyer, 

 he said, '1 can do anything on the farm." Every man in 

 the United States, when he was a boy, lived on a farm, so 

 the farmer said, **A11 right, it is time to milk, now. Take 

 that stool and pail and you go ahead and get the cows 

 and we will milk." The fellow started off over in the pas- 

 ture and it was sufficiently early, but he went on, and it 

 began to get dark. The farmer went over in the pasture 

 and there he saw a cow running around in the pasture, 

 like that (illustrating) . Finally the farmer got up to 

 where the fellow was and said, ''What is the matter, aren't 

 you getting along very well?" ''No," he said, "I have 

 been out here two hours, and I haven't got any of these 

 cows milked yet; I can't get them to sit down on this stool 

 long enough to milk them." (Laughter.) 



I am reminded about stopping. This is the first time 

 I have said anything about stopping. An after-dinner 

 speaker is always entitled to start and stop three times, 

 and he gets stopped after the third time if his terminal 

 facilities are good. (Applause.) 



Toastmaster: It is really surprising to find how many 

 Sunday school teachers we have in this gathering (laugh- 

 ter). I think a meeting of this kind would be incomplete 

 without hearing from a representative of the University 

 of Illinois, and I want at this time to introduce Professor 

 W. J. Fraser. 



Professor W. J. Fraser: Mr. Toastmaster, ladies and 

 gentlemen: I am afraid this is a hard place to command 

 the program, after such men as Mr. O'Hair and my friend 

 Van Pelt; but a little girl was given a dolly for a Christ- 

 mas present. A lady visited the family shortly after and 

 the little girl was telling what a wonderful fine dolly she 

 had. She said it was one of those dollies that talk. She 



