116 ILLINOIS STATE DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION 



Pelt and Mr. Fraser over there, I would feel toward their 

 business very much in the way in which three little boys 

 felt toward one of their pets one time. 



These three little boys were very pious fellows. They 

 had gone to church and seen how people were converted 

 and baptized, and so one time they thought they would 

 have a little prayer meeting, and they had as their audience 

 their little pets, a little pup, a little bantam rooster and a 

 little Tommy cat. Thay had them converted, and the next 

 thing they wanted to do was baptize them. Each boy had 

 to baptize his own pet. As they went into the waters the 

 little boy who had the bsuntam rooster waded in and said 

 his little ceremony, put the little rooster in under the water. 

 The little fellow came up and crowed. They thought that 

 was very funny. The one with the little poodle dog waded 

 in, said his story and the little dog came up and flopped 

 his ears and coughed, and that was a little funny. The 

 boy who had the little Tommy cat waded in, and as he 

 held him in his hand, and with his eyes heavenward he 

 said, "I baptize thee in the name of the Father and the 

 Son — " but the little Tommy saw where he was going and 

 as he saw where he was going he began to scratch his 

 hand, and it was all bloody, and the little fellow came out 

 crying, and they held a little consultation, and they didn't 

 know what to do with this poor little Tommy cat. Some- 

 thing must be done, so one of the little fellows said, 'Til 

 tell you what to do with him; we will just sprinkle him 

 and let him go to Hell." (Laughter.) 



This is a mighty fine thing for business men to meet 

 business men, doctor to meet lawyer and lawyer to meet 

 dentist, and dentist to meet the farmer, if there should be 

 any farmers here. 



If I should start out to find a farmer in this crowd 

 I would be very much in the fix that the man was who 

 started out to find the happiest man in the world. He 

 went to a doctor, thinking he was the happiest man in the 

 world; he went to a school teacher and thought that he 

 was the happiest man in the world, and finally when he 

 was about to despair someone told him to go to Mark 

 Twain, that Mark Twain because he had written so many 



