FORTY-FIRST ANNUAL CONVENTION 61 



resolution, and his mother said, ''Tommy, you will have to go 

 away." She told the maid to i>ack his things in his little suit- 

 case, and when everything was ready, Tommy kissed his mother 

 goodbye, went out the door and started down the street, while 

 she stood at the window watching and anxiously hoping he 

 would come back. He didn't go very far until he sat down on 

 the edge of the sidewalk and put his face down in his hands 

 as if he was crying. His mother couldn't stand this very long, 

 and she slipped quietly down the walk until she got right behind 

 him.. About this time a gentleman came along and said, ''Little 

 boy, can you tell me where Mr. Scott lives?" Without looking 

 up he replied, "You go to hell, I have troubles of my own." 



So, gentlemen, I come to you with very meager preparation 

 and without any assistance have decided to follow the example 

 of the darkey named Sam Jones, who was being tried in Dawson 

 City for felony. The Judge asked Sam if he desired to have a 

 lawyer appointed to defend him. Sam said, "No, sah, I'se gwine 

 to throw myself on the ignorance of the cote." 



My embarrassment is intensified because of the personnel 

 of this audience. When I contemplate the magnitude of your 

 program and my attention is called to the eminent educators who 

 are to address you, I feel like the old maid who went to a circus 

 for the first time. She had lived all her life in a small village in 

 a sparsely settled section of Missouri. She was prim and pre- 

 cise and had a high sense of propriety. She had an exaggerated 

 idea of the fitness of things and didn't believe in dances or shows 

 of any kind. Notwithstanding this opinion that was so thor- 

 oughly instilled into her nature, she had fought for years a de- 

 sire and inclination to go to a circus. Finally the bill jXDSter 

 came through the village where she lived and pasted large circus 

 bills over every available space. After studying these pictures 

 for some time her desire was intensified and she made up her 

 mind she would go. So, when the day came she started early, 

 and when she arrived at the tent she heard the band playing and 

 after looking all around to see if there was anyone that she 

 knew, she walked up to the ticket wagon and bought a ticket 

 She went in early so as to get a good seat, and after looking all 

 around concluded the most comfortable seat would be up at the 



