ILLINOIS DAIRYMEN'S ASSOCIATION. 



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seems almost impossible. I would like to tell that story in Iowa, 

 but I dare not do it. We have been in the business for thirty 

 years, and in certain parts of the state do nothing else, and we 

 can't begin to show any such a record as that. When I was com- 

 ing down on the train yesterday afternoon, I heard a story about 

 Egypt and it illustrated your enterprise. It is a little bit different 

 from the story about the man who died and thought he was in 

 heaven, but was in the other place. This man died and really 

 went to heaven. He was being shown around through the beauti- 

 ful city by Peter, and commenting on the quietness and the still- 

 ness and beauty and happiness that seemed to reign supreme 

 everywhere, and he came upon two or three men who had balls 

 and chains on their legs. ''How is this? I am content in this 

 place, but to find a thing of this kind where everything is so quiet 

 and happy and these men with balls and chains on their legs?" 

 "Those fellows come from Egypt in southern Illinois and if we 

 were to take the balls and chains off them they will go back," 

 said Peter. The story was a good one to me. I never heard it 

 before. 



I don't know how to talk to you. I have been used to talk to 

 people who produced milk for butter. I am not like the landlord 

 who was in southern Colorado that said he had human nature 

 down to so fine a point he could tell the political complexion of a 

 man as soon as he came into the hotel. How he did it ? He was 

 a Democrat. If a Democrat goes into the wash room he wipes 

 on the towel, combs his hair and empties the water and goes in 

 and sits down at the table. If a Republican comes in he goes to 

 the wash room and he combs his hair, but he goes off and leaves 

 the water in the washbowl. If a Prohibitionist comes in he will 

 wash in the water that the Republican leaves. But the worst 

 that comes in is the Populist, he combs his whiskers and won't 

 wash at all. I haven't got you people down just that fine as to 

 know how to address you on dairy subjects, but am going to talk 

 on a subject while relating to farming is entirely different, that is 

 the war on milk products. It is a subject that is to you as inter- 

 esting, and if looked at as it is in the butter producing part of the 

 state is of more interest than any dairy subject that confronts us. 



