ILLINOIS DAIBYMEN'S ASSOCIATION. 83 



and tugging away until, after much tribulation on my part and that of the 

 cow, the bucket was nearly full. But there was often a limit found to the 

 patience and long-suffering of the cow as she went through her trying ordeal, 

 and then, unable to stand her torture longer, I was frequently kicked over in 

 hopeless confusion with the bucket of milk, as the cow, driven to despera- 

 tion, displayed the utmost contempt for her present danger or of my future 

 destiny. I wonder if you have not become so perfect in your methods that 

 you do not have cold milking-lots and cross cows any more. But I have yet 

 to refer, with vivid recollection, to the saddest and most trying part of the 

 early epoch of my personal experience in the dairy business. Oh, it almost 

 makes me shudder yet to think of the days when, with flagging energy and 

 total lack of zeal, I have had to pound away on sour and thin cream in an 

 old-fashioned dasher-churn for two hours at a time, before I could get release 

 from labor by the appearance of the globules of butter, when all the time my 

 presence was imperatively demanded in the ball game upon the green with 

 the other boys. Oh the intensity of the pai ful but very salutary lessons 

 that are still impressed upon my mind, as I vividly remember seeing my 

 mother bring out the old churn, wash and scald it out, sure symptoms of 

 trouble to come for me, and then how, sometimes, I took a panic and ran 

 away, only to return late in the day to meet with a hot reception, and have 

 to churn more stubborn cream next day to make up for it. 



The latest epoch of my experience occurred since I have, by your grace 

 and favor, been occupying the Governor's office. I have heard it strangely 

 said that the cow is a great civilizer. I have no doubt of the fact now. I 

 know it to be true by experience. 



Upon moving to Springfield with my wife and three babies we lived, for 

 the first three or four m mths, on the milkman's supplies ; and public water, 

 you know, is proverbially poor in Springfield. Such a life as we had, I 

 thought that by close attention it would be possible for me to govern the 

 state ; but I completely despaired of restoring order in and governing my 

 household. Discontent and lack of health reigned. Finally, after prolonged 

 effort and at great expense, a fine large milch cow was procured. As if by 

 magic, peace, health and contentment was restored, the children grew fat 

 and rosy, the wile blooming and happy, while civilization in my family was 

 perfected and household government became a pastime. This happy condi- 

 tion of affairs existed until a few days ago, when some scoundrel having not 

 the tear of God or man before him, and having a total disregard of the con- 

 tentment of my family and entire want of respect of the chief executive of a 

 great state, came to my barn at night and stole my cow away. I am in dis- 

 tress, my family upon the verge of anarchy for want of the civilizing influ- 

 ences of the generous cow. 



But having already talked long enough to weary your patience, and thank- 

 ing you for your kind consideration and attention, I will close without even 

 reciting the customary sonnet of gushing admiration for the historic milk- 

 maid—but for whom I have great respect. 



?ong, " Finnigan's Wake," Mr. W. D. Hoard. 



Ventriloquist's Song, '' Old Kentucky Home," Mr. John Cheatham. 



Music, by the Band. 

 * Convention adjourned, to meet at 9 o'clock the next morning. 



