110 ILLINOIS dairymen's ASSOCIATION. 



song to the tune— Co' Boss, Co' Boss, Co', or a little love ditty about meet- 

 ing me at the garden gate. Now, the dairy maid is Mike, Yacob, Johannas, 

 or Peter Peterson. Formerly, the milk maid went down in the meadow by 

 the little brook, or around the corner of the haystack or barn to milk old 

 Brindle. Now, he drives her into a big red barn full of fine clover and timo- 

 thy, bran, oat meal, corn meal, oats, ensilage, cornstalks, and straw to bed 

 her down, standing in her long row of stanchions, the queen and the boss of 

 the situation. 



Anciently and formerly the dairy maid learned the calves to drink. Now 

 John does it. Formerly she either got or helped get the breakfast. Now her 

 ma does it. Formerly, in my little primer, the dairy maid was pictured with 

 rosy cheeks, sleeves rolled, showing— well, muscle, with smiles only a little 

 less than the smiles of the mermaids, looking up the lane to see if John 

 could see her milking old Brindle. Now, she sits in the parlor and lets John 

 milk. Formerly after milking, she strained the milk, skimmed the milk, 

 churned the cream, worked the butter and took it to market, and traded it 

 for family groceries, calico, etc. Now, Professor More-to-morrow-and- 

 hang-on-to-all skims the milk, puts in the buttermilk and makes the cheese. 

 And Professor May-clinch-to-some-of-it sells it on some board of trade down 

 east. Formerly the dairy maid made butter from old Brindle's cream. Now 

 he makes it from her cream and her '' O. C." and so on. And now, I like the 

 former dairy maid the best. 



Toast—'' Our Tenth Annual Meeting." 



Eesponse, James Beeks. 



You are aware of the fact that the members of the Illinois Dairymen's 

 Association met in tenth annual session here— in DeKalb— "but," it is 

 hardly necessary to be prodded with a "barb" to make us ask '"wire" we 

 here? How ''Dairyman" pro-"pound" such a question on this occasion? 

 Nota "Gurler" a boy would think of it, as some heavy "weight" or a strong 

 *'butter" would at oncetell him to "cheese" it. If any one attempts it on 

 this occasion, we "Mayor" may not do him up "Brown." 



The sessions of this Association have been attended by the "cream de la 

 cream" of this beautiful city, who will, no doubt, be glad when we shall have 

 gone our "whey." Perhaps this has not oc-"curd" to you before, and may 

 make you turn "pail" when I "udder" it ; "but," we must not be "muly"-ish 

 on the proposition, as we cannot always hang to. the "teat" of hospitality. 

 If we should, our pride might become somewhat "cow"-ed. On the princi- 

 ple that a new "Broome 11" always sweep clean, we should retire while we are 

 welcome. We have been here long enough to exhibit our "Dexter "-ity and 

 should be willing to go "awhey" in order that we may again be welcome on 

 the ".Morrow," and should never "strain" our host at any time, or "skim" the 

 "milk" of human kindness too close. 



"Gathered cream" is always sweet on such occasions, and we should 

 "Hoard" up the "whole milk" and treasure it as long as we "can"— milk can. 

 "Dairy Maid" deny our right to do this ? 



I came here to stick my "Beeks" into this "butter" and "cheese" busi- 

 ness, and have had many good "Times" making notes of "udder"-ances of 

 the members, and "skimming" the "cream" as they draw the "milk" from 

 the "teat" of the best "cows" of the association, and have been more than 



