KIDD'S OWN JOURNAL. 



115 



colors— fiery black, feline grey, and sleepy 

 blue. Secondly, of all expression? — benevo- 

 lent, malignant, envious, stingy, and sarcastic. 

 So much for the personal attributes ; as for 

 the dresses, being marvellously uninformed 

 in millinery, I shall not attempt to analyse 

 them. One thing must be observed, that 

 the women's heads were nearly bare as their 

 unblushing faces, and their forms " fashion- 

 ably' 1 shapeless ; whilst the men's faces were 

 masses of stiff hair, and their heads ''empty." 



To devote a description to all, or even a 

 fifth part of the characters here assembled, 

 would disgust the reader as much as it would 

 tire the writer. Let us, therefore, glance 

 round the room, and select from the multi- 

 tude a few of the most marked, and who 

 invariably haunt an Auction. 



And, first, for the "Magnus Apollo" — 

 the rolling spirit — the mighty master of the 

 " gab," and the accomplished wielder of the 

 ivory hammer — The Auctioneer. 



There is one now before us, in the most 

 graceful of attitudes, and with a most courtly 

 mien. It is impossible to say whether any 

 male sylphs have attended his toilet this 

 morning; but assuredly, his habiliments are 

 exquisitely disposed, and, in every respect, 

 he looks as trim as a new sarsenet bonnet, 

 from a milliner's band- box. His glittering 

 locks group round his forehead in languishing 

 curls ; his skin is exceedingly sleek ; and a 

 breath of air might discolor the alabaster 

 complexion of his neckcloth and his hands. 

 Who shall do justice to the symmetrical 

 mould of the ringers, and the contour of the 

 wrist ? One little finger is loaded with an 

 enormous gold ring, which is exhibited with 

 much careful inattention in the course of the 

 morning's sale. With respect to the style 

 and color of his garments, we must not venture 

 to speak ; so variable are the tastes of auctio- 

 neers ! This much may be advanced with 

 security, — that the cloth is mostly superfine, 

 and that the " cut " is of the first-rate fashion. 

 It must not be forgotten, too, that a pon- 

 derous bunch of seals is always dripping from 

 the waistcoat, & finale to the whole accoutre- 

 ments of his person. 



The auction-room is the theatre for the 

 display of an auctioneer's glory. Here he is 

 quite au fait. Head, eye, lip, and hand — 

 all come into action here, and awe the 

 attendant "Johns" into obsequious promp- 

 titude and smiles. To analyse an auctioneer's 

 eloquence is an arduous task ; the forum 

 and the bar can afford no rules by which we 

 may dissect its merits and defects. The 

 eloquence of the pulpit has certainly some 

 consanguinity with it ; but it is too feeble 

 and glimmering to enable us to institute a 

 comparison. It is made up of abrupt spouting, 

 chiefly recommendatory and insinuative. It 

 is not a long string of arguments, tied to 



each other like the tails of the foxes which 

 Sampson fired ; but rather sudden explosions, 

 starts, and sallies ; flashes of plausive ver- 

 biage, which, setting fire to the avaricious feel- 

 ings of the heart, descend, like electric shocks, 

 into the pocket, and attract the — cash. 



In one point the auctioneer is superior to all 

 orators,both ancient and modern — in intuition. 

 It is wonderful to remark with what celerity 

 he glances over the crowded room, and detects 

 the bidder in the slightest movement of a 

 lip, or the most delicate stare of an eye. 

 In an instant, he perceives the acquiescence 

 — " five pounds ten — (thank you, Madam !) 

 — five pounds fourteen — sixteen — eighteen — 

 six pounds — (thank you, Sir !) —going at six 

 pounds only — at six pounds only — this most 

 admirable lot — shall I have the pleasure 

 (looking to an old gentleman opposite, with 

 a gaping mouth) to say six guineas for you ? 

 It cost three times the money, I assure you ! 

 — going at six pounds only — going — going — 

 gone ! ! ! Madam, it is yours ! " 



Among the auction frequenters, the brokers 

 stand conspicuous ; they are as constant in 

 their attendance as birds of prey are on the 

 plain, when the battle is over. There is 

 something, however, very repelling about a 

 broker. We cannot help imagining him to 

 be heartless, and fond of cozening. He is 

 generally a dusty-faced, Jewish-looking 

 person, with a feeling of avarice for ever 

 playing on his features. Being deeply versed 

 in the science of detecting perforated kettles, 

 and rheumatic chairs, he serves to keep the 

 auctioneer within the bounds of probability ; 

 and when the former occasionally indulges 

 in his hyperbolic propensities, you may per- 

 ceive the broker turn his eye on him, with a 

 most eloquent sneer, as much as to say, 

 " now that won't do ! " 



Like a duck in a pond, the broker gobbles 

 all that comes in his way. Tables, trunks, 

 carpets, and blankets ; no matter what, if a 

 penny can be gained on them. To explain 

 this, it must be remembered that old articles, 

 when disposed in a broker's shop, suddenly 

 acquire new beauty and value. Old chairs 

 and scratched tables are no longer to be 

 sneezed at, — they have assumed a glossy 

 outside ; and Avhen a customer inquires their 

 price, the broker very gravely eulogises their 

 fashionable make and excellent material. 



And who is yonder lady, spread upon her 

 chair with queenly gravity, crossing her 

 thumbs and working her ferret eyes with 

 diagonal glances? That is a lodging-house 

 keeper, in tolerable circumstances, and on 

 excellent terms with herself. She cannot see 

 aught degrading in " letting out furnished 

 houses," and therefore wears the veil with as 

 much haughtiness as the finest among her 

 like the broker, she is well known to 



sex 



every auctioneer in the City, and may be 



