This freezing -up of all the channels to the heart 

 is called " etiquette ;" -which also teaches 

 them to look upon the world as a show-room, 

 through which they have to walk and talk 

 according to the prescribed rules of " their 

 order ; " and, above all, never to allow this 

 highly -polished mask to be disarranged 

 before the multitude. 



The lady of ton, or high fashion, ("ton" 

 means a certain number of people where there 

 is no society) goes through, with charming 

 nonchalance, the warmths of her friendship. 

 This calls for a very little exertion of those 

 vulgar things called " feelings." A scented 

 billet invites her to some dear friend's soiree. 

 Her amanuensis auswers in acceptation ; and 

 she goes as late as she can on the appointed 

 evening, when she crawls tip a crowded 

 staircase into a mobbed saloon, where she 

 smiles most bewitchingly on her dear friend, 

 the hostess. The hostess returns another 

 equally charming smile as she perceives her ; 

 quite delighted to see her so crushed and 

 crowded, as it adds to the eclat of her party. 

 New arrivals thrust them asunder ; and the 

 lady guest departs with the determination to 

 outshine her friend at her own approaching 

 party by the number of her invitations, — in 

 hopes that they may not be able to get into 

 her house, though they are sure all to get 

 into the Morning Post, where she would 

 really rather see them than in her house ; the 

 fact being that they are only in the one that 

 they may be in the other. With this 

 amiable intention of rivalry, she flits and 

 smiles through a few more parties during the 

 night, with exactly the same results ; until, 

 overcome with ennui, she seeks her pillow, 

 delighted with the number of her invitations, 

 — meaning nothing. 



The man of ton lives in nearly the same 

 routine, slightly varied by unmeaning dinners, 

 where he is invited to come as late as he can : 

 to go away as soon as he can, that he may 

 attend the opera, and a few slight engage- 

 ments where he really must just "show 

 himself, " which gives his tiger time to turn 

 his cab round and take him up again, that 

 he may " show himself" somewhere else. 



In the most serious, as well as the most 

 trifling things, does the society of ton com- 

 mit extraordinary acts of folly, with the air 

 of sincerity ; for a kind of tacit understand- 

 ing exists, that they shall appear to receive all 

 as " real'' which they know to be " false." A 

 female tonnist, for instance, is expected to be 

 fully conversant with all the tricks of card de- 

 positing and morning calls, invented for the 

 sole purpose of getting rid of the surplus time 

 of the fair unemployed. She accordingly en- 

 sconces herself in her carriage if she intends 

 to make personal calls, and bowls round to 

 the doors of her intimates. It is not her in- 

 tention to go farther, at an hour when they are 



not visible, " or not at home," as the fashion- 

 able lie goet. Here her show footman 

 knocks insane knocks, which is the princi- 

 pal thing in his education ; makes sweet in- 

 quiries ; receives the expected answer ; leaves 

 , a card ; mounts his perch ; and passes on to 

 ( another and another, where he goes through 

 ■■ the same forms. All this time his mistress 

 is reading quietly the last new novel, as if 

 perfectly unconscious of what the man was 

 about. This game at " cards complimentary" 

 i is one of vital importance to the well-being 

 of this kind of society. Any lapse by any 

 : of its members of the proper distribution, at 

 I the proper time, would embroil them in 

 some bitter feud ; or, in some cases, the 

 i expulsion from the much envied ranks of ton. 

 When a death occurs in this high and 

 delightful society, the distressed members ro 

 flatter the dear defunct as long as he or she re- 

 mains above ground} send, most punctiliously, 

 their servants, carriages, and horses, to 

 '■ mourn," with becoming decorum, in thepro- 

 j cession to the grave. Everybody sees that 

 I this is an empty compliment in every sense ; 

 yet it is done that the world may see 

 " what a many carriages the body knew.'' 



Notwithstanding the emptiness of all this, 

 we find the next grade in the scale, " the 

 ; little great people," waste their lives — and 

 [ sometimes their fortunes, in imitating it. 

 The word " society " is constantly in their 

 mouths ; which means precisely all the fore- 

 1 going. Not being so well defended from the 

 ' approach of the mixed, they are dreadfully 

 tenacious in their invitations, and indignant 

 at a " one-horse person" claiming aquaint- 

 ance with their " pair-horse " eminence. 

 You must be out of business, or you are 

 j never in their lists : unless, indeed, you ca 1 

 1 yourself a "merchant," and no one ever saw 

 l/oi.'r cou nt huj -house. They are troubled 

 with a curious monomania, which makes 

 them believe "that the middling class" is 

 the one just below them. This, number 

 ' two ton apes in every way — much to the 

 annoyance of number one ; its bowings and 

 card leavincrs ; ceremonious parties and cold- 

 nesses. Thus, in its struggles to reach the 

 society above, passes a life of continued heart- 

 burnings and disappointments. 



The great mischief of all this ambition as 

 to station in society, falls most injuriously 

 upon that class who, owning themselves the 

 middling class, — men of business, &c.,— still 

 strive vainly to place, as it were, one foot 

 upon the step above them; and, in the 

 struggle, often meet with a total overthrow. — 

 ruining themselves by attempting too much. 

 and, when done, deceiving nobody ; looking 

 at the same time with a smile of derision 

 upon their neighbors, for doing the very 



; same thing in which they themselves so sig- 



| nally fail ! " 



