254 



KIDD'S OWN JOURNAL. 



birds, in the open air. We hope, ere long, to pay- 

 Mr. W. another visit. We will then report 

 further progress. We never enter his delightful 

 domain, without feeling that we are in an earthly 

 paradise.] 



The World " Artificial." — The remarks of 

 your youthful correspondent at Oxford, Mr. 

 Editor, at page 188, have caused a world of 

 mirth all over the country. It is very well known 

 why you gave them admission ; for they pointed 

 a u noble moral" whilst they adorned a " curious 

 tale." If the women do not become more natural 

 in their mode of apparel, the fault will certainly 

 never rest with the Editor of our Journal. 

 This reminds me that I may assist in the same 

 good cause. Shakspeare has said — "Men should 

 be what they seem." We say, ''Women," too, 

 " should be what they seem." Shall we ever 

 live to see this ? " Question ! " I was in Lon- 

 don last week, when my attention was arrested 

 by some " remarkable objects" exhibited at the 

 shop window of Sykes and Co., 280, Regent 

 Street (a few doors west of Oxford Street). 

 "What can they be?" thought I. I looked, 

 and looked, and looked ! Lo, and behold ! they 

 were the "casings" of a modem female. To de- 

 scribe them fully would be impossible. They 

 were of course, hollow — the world is hollow. 

 They were made in the form of a sugar loaf, the 

 small end upwards. At this small end was an 

 opening — thus allowing the machine to be placed 

 over the head of the petite female previous to her 

 incarceration. When this opening had given 

 admission to the figure within, it found " a rest- 

 ing place," as described by your Oxford corres- 

 pondent, on the centre of the person. Here it 

 threw out, on every side, fearful shoots ; forming 

 a projection of immense proportions — the wearer 

 being a complete specimen, under another name, 

 of " Jack in the Green " on May-day.* The 

 circumference of this starched engine of destruc- 

 tion can only be guessed at. The " object" of 

 this "fiction," I am told, is to convert the sex 

 into fine, showy women ; and to give them a 

 dashing air. It must be good fun to see them 

 emerge into chrysalids ! No insect transforma 

 tion certainly could be more curious ! The best 

 of the joke is, the large window I speak of admits 

 only three of these modern deceptions ; their am- 

 plitude filling all space ! Two of them were " orna- 

 mented." A card, pinned on the bottom of each 

 skirt, had printed on it : — 



" Apartments to Let ! " 



* Of course "Jack" does not show his head. 

 With the exception of the head, our modern 

 females, thus habited, do look, when dancing or 

 sailing about, just as our correspondent describes 

 them. Our fair friends, if we may be allowed to 

 add a word, are like the nest of magic lemons we 

 give to a child to play with. The outer lemon 

 is of large proportions. We open it. Within, 

 there is another. We open that, and lo ! a third 

 meets the eye. We pursue our search through 

 twelve rinds. At last, we find — a minikin 

 lemon ! Parturit mons. nascitur ridiculus mus. 

 " The mountain's in labor, and out creeps — a 

 mouse!"— Ed. K.J. 



Roomy enough were they, i~ should say, to ac- 

 commodate " a small family." The card no doubt 

 alluded to the house ; but it was " reasonable" to 

 believe it referred to the round-about. Oh, Mr. 

 Editor, you are right. There is very little of the 

 " genuine" about us. All is show ! — Walter, 

 Cambridge. 



[We have been to look at these female accou- 

 trements ; and they really are, as described, mon- 

 strosities indeed ! We have said repeatedly, that 

 people who study " Fashion," or so-called 

 " Gentility," never think. We will not wrong 

 them by imagining such a thing to be possible. 

 No "thinking" person could ever attempt to 

 waddle away with what we have just seen !] 



Gluttony of a Rat. — In the autumn of 1848, 

 " W. C." a highly respectable gardener, happened 

 to be at work in a garden (not a mile distant from 

 my house). It adjoined that of an old lady (Mrs.F.), 

 and the two gardens were separated by a low 

 wall. He was accidentally looking over the 

 wall, when his attention was arrested by a large 

 rat, who was leisurely walking along close to the 

 bottom of the opposite wall. Curiosity prompted 

 him to watch the animal. Stealthily sneaking along 

 till he arrived at the foot of a fine espalier green- 

 gage tree, he quietly mounted the stock, scrambled 

 along the branches, seized a fine green-gage, and 

 descended the tree just as he had mounted it. 

 Then with the green-gage in his mouth, he sneaked 

 along the side of the wall till he disappeared be- 

 hind a heap of brick-rubbish in a corner at the 

 bottom of the garden. After a short time he re- 

 appeared ; the same operation was repeated ; and 

 the rat returned, loaded as before. Well, thought 

 " W. C," this is strange ! who knows whether 

 Mrs. F., missing her fruit, may not suspect one of 

 her servants ? An honest but innocent young wo- 

 man may lose a good situation through the " glut- 

 tony" of this black fellow. No, no ; this shall not 

 be if I can help it. Thus musing, he slightly 

 turned ; when Mrs. F.. who was in the garden, 

 caught his eye. The opportunity of addressing 

 the old lady was not lost. In a few words " W. C." 

 craved pardon for his apparent rudeness in staring 

 so intently into the lady's garden. He also ex- 

 plained the cause, and the honest, benevolent mo- 

 tive which occasioned his abrupt and prompt 

 address to a strange old lady. He added, I should 

 not be surprised, madam, if you soon had an op- 

 portunity of seeing the thief with your own eyes. 

 Scarcely had the old lady turned round and 

 slowly approached the green-gage tree, before she 

 had herself the singular satisfaction of seeing Mr. 

 Rat walk off with a third green-gage. " Well, this 

 is really too bad !" said the old lady. " I certainly 

 had missed a few green-gages, but I should never 

 have guessed who was the thief. Now pray, 

 " W. C," do come in and try to catch this animal." 

 He went in, and traced him to his nest as carefully 

 as he could ; but as he had two places he escaped 

 for that time. Nine green-gages were found, 

 which he had doubtless put by for his own private 

 eating. Towards nightfall, " W. C." prepared a 

 trap for him. It was baited with a rasher of most 

 delicious bacon, and the thief paid the forfeit of 

 his gluttony. From that very day till the day of 

 her death, "W. C." regularly worked in the 

 garden of Mrs. F. This period of time extended 



