

334 



KIDD'S OWN JOURNAL. 



the form of a small printed book ; consisting 

 of some seven pages. It is entitled " Matri- 

 mony made Easy." There is also another 

 abomination, called the " Etiquette of Love." 

 In these books, the strictest secresy is 

 promised to be observed. Of course ! Now 

 the iniquity of this, must be self-evident : 

 for so artfully are the advertisements 

 worded, that victims innumerable must fall 

 into this creature's clutches. It appears that 



it is, for people to want "assistance " in so plea- 

 sant an occupation as wooing ! We confess we 

 cannot understand it at all. To oblige Mr. Gay, a 

 friend, Mr. Paine, feigned illness ; and by these 

 means, Mr. Gay got a "nice" introduction to a 

 delightful family. He slipped in as a doctor ! 

 Oh, fie Mr. Gay ! But here is the "Report : — 

 " Mr. Gay was a surgeon, of Old Brompton, and 

 the defendant, Mr Paine, is an unmarried gentle- 

 man, of Wellington-square, Chelsea. Mr. Gay 

 said he had supplied the defendant with a mixture 

 and a box of pills, and had attended him six 

 times ; for which visits he charged half-a-crown 

 each. He had not charged for the mixture. Mr. 

 Delamere, the defendant's solicitor, said that his 

 client resided with a gentleman at Brompton, who 

 had a family of beautiful daughters. Mr. Gay, 

 who was a single man, was anxious to obtain an 

 introduction to the young ladies, with the view 

 to choose a wife. With this object he sought the 

 services of Mr. Paine, who very foolishly pre- 

 tended to be ill ; and, accordingly, the professional 

 services of Mr. Gay were sought to alleviate the 

 sufferings of the patient. Mr. Paine, on being 

 called, stated that Mr. Gay informed him of his 

 wish to pay his attentions to a nice young lady, as 

 he was sick of being single — (laughter) — and he 

 intreated witness to introduce him to one — 

 (laughter). He mentioned and recommended the 

 young ladies at their house ; but how to get an 

 introduction was, for some time, a poser to them — 

 (laughter). It could only be carried out by strata- 

 gem ; and it was devised by plaintiff and himself 

 that he (defendant) should fall ill — Croars of 

 laughter) — and write a letter to Mr. Gay to visit 

 him — (prolonged merriment). He felt unwell — 

 (laughter) — and wrote the note proposed by Mr. 

 Gay : — " Dear Sir, — I want to see you imme- 

 diately. I am alarmingly ill. Yours, &c. Post- 

 script. Only my self and the Misses at home, my 



boy — (shouts of merriment)." Mr. Gay came im- 

 mediately. There was nothing whatever the 

 matter with him — (laughter) — and he never took 

 the stuff that was sent, but threw it to the dogs — 

 (renewed laughter). As to the six visits the plain- 

 tiff had charged him for, it was a downright " do." 

 At any rate, five out of the six visits were paid to 

 the young ladies, and Mr. Gay had the modesty 

 and impudence to charge him half-a-crown for each 

 of the wooing visits — (shouts of laughter). Besides 

 that, he was invited to dinner each time. He had 

 never had any rash, saving the rashness of intro- 

 ducing the plaintiff to his friends. — The judge 

 (Adolphus) : I think, if it be a joke, it ought to 

 be followed out — (laughter). Fifteen shillings is, 

 perhaps, too much to pay for it. My judgment 

 will be for ten shillings, and that is not too much 

 for a rich joke like this." — [Dirt cheap !] Ed. K.J. 



she keeps "a stock on hand " of lads and 

 lasses, men and women — all ready and eager 

 for partnership — only waiting the waving of 

 her wand. We shall not waste time nor 

 space upon this most infamous book ; but we 

 notice it, for the sake of seeing whether such 

 a system cannot be put a stop to. It genders 

 an amount of moral evil which it is perfectly 

 terrible to contemplate. 



We hardly need say, that when a woman 

 is bad, she knows no bounds. Whether 

 Madame Maxwell is bad, let our readers judge. 

 Her book ends thus : — 



I feel increased confidence in publishing my 

 system of " introduction ;" and shall with much 

 pleasure advise any person, male or female, by 

 letter or otherwise, on any difficult point, draw up 

 and insert their advertisement in the most eligible 

 medium, arrange for a private address ; and then 

 forward their letters. Indeed, I will conduct the 

 matter to a successful issue. The strictest 

 secresy will be observed ; and, be it remembered, 

 there is such novelty and fascination about the 

 system of courtship, that none can resist its cap- 

 tivating influence. There is also another way by 

 which the above object can be realised. I am 

 daily in communication with hundreds, of the 

 highest respectability, of both sexes, as to ages, 

 classes, and conditions (having at the present 

 moment the names of thirty-five titled persons in 

 my list), who are anxious to form matrimonial 

 alliances. It therefore necessarily follows, that 

 I can generally introduce any person to a partner 

 in every way suited to their fancy, possessing all 

 the qualities essential to happiness ; and render 

 the married state, what indeed it ought to be, an 

 earthly paradise of bliss. 



Thus it will appear, that although I have re- 

 commended advertising, such a course is rarely 

 necessary ; that is, where my correspondents will 

 avail themselves of my experience; for(asI before 

 intimated) being in communication with hundreds, 

 both male and female, of the first respectability 

 and standing in society, I can always introduce 

 the exact style of person that is required, and will 

 pledge myself not to introduce any who I am 

 not fully satisfied are in every way eligible. All 

 those who may feel diffident, may rest assured 

 that, with my mediation, an introduction can be 

 arranged with the nicest delicacy and secresy — 

 while all may be married if they will only avail 

 themselves of my recommendations. Marriages 

 promising the happiest results are almost daily 

 occurring through my assistance, and I hope that 

 all my readers will have more good sense than to 

 allow their prospects of future happiness to be in 

 any way impeded by the silly forms of etiquette ! 

 I shall be happy to arrange the whole matter for 

 any person, on condition of receiving part of any 

 amount agreed upon at the commencement of my 

 services, with an understanding that I receive the 

 remainder when marriage is effected; and if 

 favored by letter or otherwise with full particulars 

 as to age, appearance, circumstances, p> ros P ec ^ s i 

 &c, &c, with the style of partner preferred — all 

 this can be settled to the satisfaction of both 

 parties previous to the first interview, which may 

 take place at my residence — it being excellently 



