278 



RECREA TION. 



POSSIBLE SMILES. 



How much does a threshold ? 



Did you ever eat any door jam ? 



Did you ever hear a door step? 



You may always know it's cold weather when 

 you look up at the eaves of a house and see the 

 corn ice or the Roman frieze. 



In some boarding houses you can live fairly 

 well ; in others you can get only base board. 



A man called to look at a house that was 

 offered for sale, and went down in the basement 

 to find the seller. He asked the servant how 

 the stove pipe came to be so badly dinged and 

 she said it got stove up when the men put the 

 stove up. 



Modest women, when they want to peep out 

 at their neighbor's washing, prefer a window to 

 a stare way. 



Some people think it a great misfortune for an 

 American to loose his eye sight, yet seem to 

 have no sympathy for a Venetian blind. 



I once knew a little girl, who, every morning, 

 straightened out her flaxen tresses with the comb 

 of the roof. 



A boy once tried to trap some swallows in an 

 old chimney, but the birds escaped and the 

 chimney flue. The creosote in the chimney did 

 not soot him. 



Upon her wheel a maiden prim 

 Along the street did swiftly skim 



In search of a directory. 

 The night was dark, the way was dim, 

 The curbstone touched her cycle's rim 



And tbis 



vja* 



\\er t r a 



> 



/ 



GEORGE L. THURSTON. 



How oft in the past have the thoughts of the 



wildwood 

 With fond recollection returned to my view ; 

 The patch on my trousers, the camp 'mong the 



fir trees, 

 The bear steaks I broiled and the hunger I knew. 

 Those rugged old mountains I climbed o'er so 



often, 

 And slept on the pine boughs, all covered with 



dew. 

 I'd give a whole fortune for rifle and pack mule 

 And away on the blazed trail to camp hustle with 



you. 



M. W. Miner. 



If Richelieu had lived in this age he would 

 have said: "In the hands of men entirely 

 great the typewriter is mightier than the sword." 



Smith — There is no doubt that something will 

 have to be done to make foot-ball less dangerous. 



Jones — How would it do to make it more 

 dangerous by adding the possibility of the peni- 

 tentiary ? 



Tommy. — I should think the kangaroo'would 

 be a cold country animal. 



Papa. — Why do you think so, Tommy? 



He has such nice breast pockets to warm 

 his paws in ! 



I told her that I had been dabbling in stocks. 

 "What were you" she queried "a bull or 



a bear?" 

 That I had been neither a grizzly nor ox, 

 But an ass, pure and simple, I had to declare. 



— W. P. B. 



[ 



Married Man — Why dont you get married, 

 Miss Perkins? You are getting to look like a 

 " back number " — you will soon be an old maid. 



Miss Perkins — If [ were as easy to please as 

 your wife was I would have been married long 

 ago. — Boston Home Journal. 



Mr. Anicede — Do you know anything of the 

 game laws, Miss Kennard. 



Miss Kennard — Oh yes, Mr. Anicede. 



What, for instance? 



You should never trump your partner's ace. 



City Sport — Any objections to my hunting on 

 your farm ? 



Farmer — No, not now. 



Any game on the place ? 



Not now. City fellar through hyre last week 

 'n killed all the sheep. 



How dear, oh how dear, are the scenes of my 



childhood ? 



One hundred per front foot, and possibly more. 

 But they passed long since from my family's 



possession, 

 And that, let me tell you, is why I feel sore. — 

 Detroit Tribune.. 



"I wouldn't smoke those nasty, vile smelling 

 things, dear boy." "Why not? Robert Louis 

 Stevenson smoked them." "I know it, but he 

 had humanity enough to go to the middle of the 

 Pacific Ocean to do so." — Atchison (Kan.) 

 Patriot. 



Missionary (out west) — Did you ever forgive 

 an enemy ? 



Bad Man — Wunst. 



Missionary — I am glad to hear that. What 

 moved your inner soul to prefer peace to strife ? 



Bad Man — I didn't have no gun. — New York 

 Weekly. 



Your Eastern girls in the ball room's light 

 Are neatly attired and sweet, 

 But for nautical flight "just clear out of sight," 

 Are the Oregon girls with web feet. 



"Does she love music ? " 



« « M — yes. But not enough to keep away from 

 the piano." — Iowa Falls citizen. 



Charley Cumso — Why are girls called misses? 

 Freddie Fangle — Did you ever see 'em try to hit 

 anything? 



