KIDD'S OWN JOURNAL. 



63 



rent, unless 1 preferred (quite French polite- 

 ness ! ) making another tour of discovery 

 about the street. I trimmed my sleepy, dim- 

 burning lamp with my fingers, and then 

 looked about my little dingy chamber for 

 plans of money-making. " Diogenes was 

 worse accommodated," I sighed, as I pulled 

 my lame table away from the window, for 

 the wind and rain seemed unwilling to stay 

 outside. 



At the same moment, my glance fell upon 

 a cheerfully -glowing fire in an opposite 

 kitchen. " O cooks ! you have a glorious 

 lot among mortals ! " thought I, while with 

 some secret pleasure I watched the well- 

 nourished dame, who stood like an empress 

 amid the pots and stew-pans, surrounded 

 with the glory of the fire, and swaying the 

 tongs as a sceptre over her glowing domi- 

 nions. On a higher floor I had a view 

 through the window, covered with no envious 

 blind, of a gaily illumined chamber, where 

 a numerous family were assembled around a 

 tea-table. I was stiff in every limb with 

 cold and damp ; and how empty that part 

 of my animal economy, which may be 

 styled the magazine, was that evening, I will 

 not say : but — " Merciful goodness!" thought 

 I, " if that pretty maiden, who is just now 

 reaching a cup of tea to the stout gentleman 

 upon the sofa, who seems too heavily re- 

 plenished to rise from his seat, would but 

 put out her fair hand a little further this 

 way, and could — with a thousand thankful 

 kisses — how foolish!" — The fat gentleman 

 takes the cup, and dips his bun in the tea 

 so deliberately — 'tis enough to make one 

 cry ! And now, that pretty maiden is caress- 

 ing him ! I wonder if he is her papa, or 

 her uncle ; or perhaps the enviable mortal ! 

 — but no, that cannot be ; he is, at least, 

 forty years older than she ! " That must be 

 his wife surely ; that elderly lady who sits 

 beside him on the sofa, and to whom the 

 fair maiden just now offers a platter of 

 cakes." 



But to whom does she offer them now ? 

 One ear and a part of a shoulder are all that 

 project beyond the rim of the window. 

 How long he keeps the gentle girl waiting 

 his pleasure ! but it must be a lady, no gen- 

 tleman would behave so !— or it may be her 

 brother. Ah ! see his great fist thrust into 

 the biscuit-basket, a rude lout: but, perhaps, 

 he was hungry. Now she turns to the two 

 little girls, her sisters most likely, and gives 

 them all that Mr. One-ear has left behind. 

 As for herself, she seems to take no more 

 of the tea than I do, except its fragrance. 

 But what a movement suddenly takes place 

 in the room ! The old gentleman starts 

 up from the sofa : the one-eared gentleman 

 rushes forward and gives the gentle maiden 

 a rude shock (a dromedary as he is !) that 



impels her against the tea-table, and makes 



the old lady, who was just rising from the 



sofa, sit down again. The children skip 



about and clap their hands ; the door opens ; 



in comes a young officer ; the maiden throws 



herself into his arms ! " Aha ! There I have 



it ! " I dashed to my window-shutter, so 



that it cracked ; and sat down, wet with the 



rain, and with trembling knees, upon my 



stool. " What had / to do staring through 



the window ? This comes of curiosity ! " 

 ***** 



Early robbed of my parents, without 

 brother, sister, friends and relatives, I stood 

 so lonely and desolate in the world, that 

 but for a strong confidence in Heaven, and 

 a naturally cheerful disposition, I should 

 have sought an escape from such an exist- 

 ence. Hitherto, more from instinct than 

 philosophy, I had habitually suppressed all 

 earnest longings for a happier state of life 

 than that which surrounded me ; but lately 

 other thoughts had been gaining power on 

 me, and especially this evening. I felt an 

 unutterable desire for afriend, for one whom I 

 might love ; in short, for a bosom companion, 

 a wife — one with whom I might feel myself 

 a king, even in the meanest hut ! But I 

 remembered, as involuntarily I shuddered 

 with cold, that all my love, in such circum- 

 stances as the present, could not prevent 

 my wife, if I had one, from being frozen or 

 starved to death. 



More depressed than ever, I arose from 

 my stool, and paced up and down my little 

 boundary. The oppressive feeling of my 

 situation followed me like a shadow on the 

 wall ; and for the first time in my life was I 

 quite disheartened, and cast a gloomy glance 

 upon the future. " But what in the world," 

 I exclaimed earnestly to myself, " will all 

 this dull pondering avail ?" Again I tried to 

 loosen myself from the anxious thoughts 

 that plagued me. " If but one Christian 

 soul would only come to see me, whoever it 

 might be, friend or foe - any visitor would 

 be welcome to break this dismal solitude. 

 Yea, if one from the world of spirits would 

 open the door, he should be welcome. What 

 was that ? Three knocks at the door ! I'll 

 not believe my senses. — Three knocks 

 again ! " 



I went and opened the door. Nobody 

 was there ; but the wind howled along the 

 staircase. Hastily I closed the door, put 

 my hands in my pockets, and continued my 

 parade, humming to keep up my courage. 

 In a few moments I heard something like 

 a sigh. I stopped and listened. Again I 

 heard distinctly a sigh, and that so deep and 

 sorrowful, that with considerable emotion I 

 called out, " Who is there ? " No answer 

 was returned. I stood for a moment to 

 study what all this could mean, when a 



