usually so, isn't it, even for this weather ? " 

 (Here the servant's wit and good-nature are 

 put to a considerable test, and the inquirer 

 lies on thorns for the answer.) " Why, Sir 

 ----- 1 think it &." (Good creature ! There 

 is not a better, or more trnthtelling servant 

 going.) " I must rise, however — get me 

 some warm water." — Here comes a tine 

 interval between the departure of the servant 

 and the arrival of the hot water ; during 

 which, of course, it is of " no use " to get 

 up. The hot water comes. "Is it quite 

 hot ? "— " Yes, Sir."—" Perhaps too hot for 

 shaving : I must wait a little ? " — " No, Sir ; 

 it will just do." (There is an over nice pro- 

 priety sometimes, an officious zeal of virtue, 

 a little troublesome.) " Oh — the shirt — you 

 must air my clean shirt, ; — the linen gets very 

 damp this weather." — " Yes, Sir." Here 

 another delicious five minutes. A knock at 

 the door. " Oh, the shirt, very well. My 

 stockings — I think the stockings had better 

 be aired, too." — "Very well, Sir." Here 

 another interval. At length everything is 

 ready, except myself. I now, continues our 

 incumbent (a happy word, by the bye, for a 

 country vicar) — I now cannot help thinking 

 a good deal — who can ? — upon the unneces- 

 sary and villanous practice of shaving : it is 

 a thing so unmanly (here I nestle closer) — 

 so effeminate (here I recoil from an unlucky 

 step into the colder part of the bed.) — No 

 wonder that the Queen of France took part 

 with the rebels against that degenerate King, 

 her husband, who first affronted her smooth 

 visage with a face like her own. The Em- 

 peror Julian never showed the luxuriancy of 

 his genius to better advantage than in re- 

 viving the flowing beard. Look at Cardinal 

 Bembo's picture — at Michael Angelo's — at 

 Titian's — at Shakspeare's — at Fletcher's — at 

 Spencer's — at Chaucer's — at Alfred*s — at 

 Plato's — I could name a great man for every 

 tick of my watch. — Look at the Turks, a 

 grave and otiose people. — Think of Haroun 

 Al Raschid and Bed-ridden Hassen. — Think 

 of Wortley Montague, the worthy son of his 

 mother, above the prejudice of his time. — 

 Look at the Persian gentlemen, whom one is 

 ashamed of meeting about the suburbs, their 

 dress and appearance are so much liner than 

 our own. — Lastly, think of the razor itself— 

 how totally opposed to every sensation of bed 

 — how cold, how edgy, how hard ! how ut- 

 terly different from everything like the warm 

 and encircling amplitude, which 



Sweetly recommends itself 

 Unto our gentle senses. 



Add to this, benumbed fingers, which may 

 help you to cut yourself, a quivering body, 

 a frozen towel, and a ewer full of ice ; and 

 he that says there is nothing to oppose in all 

 this, only shows, that he has no merit in op- 

 posing it. — Leigh Hunt. 



THE TWO STYLES OF LIVING. 



No. t., The Good Style of Living, con- 

 sists in having a mansion exquisitely fitted 

 up with all the expensive bijouterie compa- 

 tible with true elegance, yet avoiding the 

 lavish superabundance of gimcrackery which 

 borders on vulgarity ; comely serving men 

 in suitable liveries, all so well initiated into 

 the mysteries of their respective duties, that 

 a guest could imagine himself in a fairy 

 palace, where plates vanish without the 

 contamination of a mortal finger and thumb, 

 and glasses move without a gingle : then 

 the feast is exquisitely cooked, and exqui- 

 sitely served ; the table groans not, the 

 hostess carves not ; but one delicious dainty 

 is followed by another, and each remove 

 brings forth a dish more piquant than the 

 last : every thing is delightful, but there 

 must appear to be an abundance of nothing ; 

 two spoonsful alone of each delicious viand 

 should repose under its silver cover ; and 

 he who dared ask to be helped a second 

 time to any thing, ought to be sentenced to 

 eternal 'transportation from the regions of 

 liaut ton ! 



No. 2., The Bad Style of Living, is 

 shocking even to describe ! A large house 

 in streets or squares unknown ; hot, ugly 

 men servants, stumbling over one another 

 in their uncouth eagerness to admit you ; 

 your name mispronounced, and shouted at 

 the drawing-room door ; your host and 

 hostess in a fuss, apologising, asking ques- 

 tions, and boring you to death ; dinner at 

 length announced, but no chance of extrica- 

 tion from the dull drawing-room, because 

 the etiquette of precedence is not rightly 

 understood, and nobody knows who ought 

 to be led out first ; all the way down stairs 

 a dead silence, and then the difficulty of 

 distributing the company almost equals the 

 previous dilemma of the drawing-room : 

 wives are wittily warned against sitting by 

 husbands, and two gentlemen are facetiously 

 interdicted from sitting together ; the hostess 

 takes the top of the table to be useful, not 

 ornamental, for fish and joint and turkey, 

 must she carve ; while her husband, at the 

 other end of the mahogany, must equally 

 make a toil of a pleasure, and yet smile as 

 if it were a pleasure to toil ! The beasts of 

 the earth and the birds of the air appear 

 upon the board, scorning disguise, in their 

 own proper forms, just as they stepped out 

 of Noah's ark; always excepting those who 

 are too unwieldy to be present in whole 

 skins ; and even they send their joints to 

 table in horrid :unsophistication. Sweets 

 follow, but how unlike the souffles of Ude 

 Grim green gooseberries, lurking under 

 their heavy coverings of crust ; and cus- 



