118 



KIDD'S LONDON JOURNAL. 



fourth finger of the left hand, has become 

 sufficiently thawed to permit the passage of 

 the wedding-ring. Her opinion of the frost 

 is, in consequence, far from disinterested. 

 At the Horse Guards, the two mounted sen- 

 tries look ossified and hopeless ; for an inde- 

 fatigable north-east wind is momentarily- 

 assimilating their condition to that of Lot's 

 wife. In turning up from Guildford Street 

 into Russell Square, an intelligent, serious, 

 looking gentleman comes into hasty and un- 

 expected collision with another, equally in- 

 telligent, at the edge of a long slide. The 

 consequences are obvious. Both plunge to 

 earth, and (wonderful to relate) the same 

 oath, given in a bold bravura style, mel- 

 lowed by a slight touch of the plaintive — 

 like the Jeremiads of the poor gardeners — 

 burst, at the same moment, from the lips of 

 both. On comparing damages, one gentleman 

 finds that he has split his new black shorts ; 

 the other, that he has staved in the crown of 

 his best hat. 



In driving up Constitution Hill, where 

 Boreas is proverbially frolicsome, my Lady 

 B.'s J ehu becomes suddenly unconscious of a 

 nose, but finding that the footman behind is 

 in the same predicament, he resigns himself, 

 with a grim smile of satisfaction, to his fate. 

 While quitting a linen-draper's in Hanway 

 Yard, whither he has been accompanying two 

 young ladies a-shopping, a smart youth, in 

 a gay blue mantle, comes down, just outside 

 the door, on that particular portion of his 

 person which naturalists have defined as the 

 " seat of honor." On jumping up, agreeably 

 savage, he discovers the shopman in convul- 

 sions, and his fair friends in hysterics, 

 though he himself cannot see the joke. It 

 is surprising how insensible some people are 

 to humor ! Should the wind be high, and 

 the snow exuberant, umbrellas make a point 

 of turning inside out ; bonnets, like pigs on 

 a trip to Smithfield, take every direction but 

 the right ; hats evince a disposition to see 

 the world, and ladies' dresses mount upwards 

 in the scale of things. 



So much for externals : within doors the 

 student sits " contractus legem" — as Horace 

 says — by his fire-side ; and sensitive young 

 ladies, who have been for some time striving 

 to summon up courage to go a-shopping, 

 move to the window, cast a glance at the 

 snow on the pavement, shudder gracefully, 

 and creep closer to their " ingle nook." In 

 a warm cushioned arm-chair, with spectacles 

 on his nose, the " Miseries of Human Life " 

 in his hands, and " Rejected Addresses " 

 lying on the table beside him, sits the old 

 bachelor, condemning the unoffending eyes 

 of the frost, and its stern rheumatic con- 

 comitants. 



How different is the state of the married 

 man ! He — happy fellow ! — as evening draws 

 on, sits surrounded by his children, the two 



youngest of whom, in consideration of the 

 severity of the weather, and the social in- 

 fluence of Christmas, are permitted to nestle 

 close beside him, where they amuse them- 

 selves by making pincushions of his calf, 

 pouring Fort wine into his pockets, and 

 stuffing his snuff-box with apple-pips. See 

 what it is to be a parent ! 



But it is at night that the father is most 

 in his element. Then, while the ther- 

 mometer is below zero, and the water is 

 frozen in his basin, he is roused from dreams 

 of happiness by the clamor of his daughter, 

 Anna Maria, who sleeps in the cribb beside 

 him, and whose hooping-cough, like Rachel 

 mourning for her children, " refuseth to be 

 comforted." 



Up jumps the worthy gentleman, lights 

 the tinder-box, finds Anna Maria black in 

 the face, runs off for the doctor, leaps the 

 first gutter, tumbles, breaks his nose against 

 the second, and is hauled off to the watch- 

 house as a drunkard ! 



Such are a few among the numerous 

 absurd concomitants of a Feost in London ! 



POPULAB SCIENCE. 



Phrenology for the Million. 



To the Editor, — Sir, — I have for many 

 years past been a reader, a very careful 

 reader, of your multitudinous writings ; and 

 I have narrowly watched the tenor of your 

 observations. No man can write much, or 

 long, without in some degree laying bare 

 the inmost thoughts of his soul; and his 

 bias must have some direct tendency to good 

 or evil. This cannot be concealed from a 

 reader who feels eager to fathom a writer's 

 notions on right or wrong. I flatter my- 

 self, I am this eager reader ; I also flatter 

 myself that I can read YOU. Presuming on 

 this, and hoping I am correct, let me cor- 

 dially extend to you the right hand of fel- 

 lowship. I herald the advent of Kidd's 

 Journal amongst us, as one of our many 

 national blessings ; for the hand that holds 

 the pen, and the pen that gives utterance to 

 its master's thoughts, in the said Journal, 

 are well worthy the one of the other. But 

 now for the object of this note. 



Without in any way attempting to complain 

 of the"*contents, or the arrangement of your 

 Journal, which are both admirable — I want 

 you to confer an additional benefit on 

 society, a benefit which shall at once im- 

 mortalise your Paper ; and that, without in 

 any way interfering with its general matter. 

 You have already paved the way for its in- 

 troduction by remarks, made in your very 

 First Number, as to rendering science " popu- 

 lar " for the masses. 



In some hands, the topic I wish introduced 



