HOW I MISSED THE PICNIC. 



13 



feeling like a meadow lark and looking 

 like a peony. 



My wheel was one of the attenuated 

 pioneers with rear end propensities. At 

 the foot of a hill a mile from the hay 

 field I fell off. When the dust settled I 

 discovered I was hilariously intoxicated, 

 on an almost impassable country road, 

 covered with a 6-inch layer of sand and 

 dust, with 10 leagues of hill and 8 feet 

 of backbone to ascend before I could 

 make a graceful start. Calling on the 

 wheel for aid I gained a pair of paralytic 

 legs and decided to try the walking. Be- 

 fore I had gone far I wanted to soar, 

 to attain a height, to fly, to flee from 

 the arid highway which persisted in tip- 

 ping up and threatened to rub its parched 

 surface against my humid brow and pour 

 its cosmic residue inside my collar. I 

 attempted to scale the 8-foot backbone. 

 Every hop brought me nearer home, but 

 every hop brought me more dust and 

 more sweat. I kicked up clouds of sand, 



which clung to the inviting damp of my 

 anatomy and made me feel like an emery 

 wheel. Just as everything was right for 

 the ascent the wheel would lurch and both 

 feet would go into the sand with a double 

 puff. Then I had to hop another 100 

 yards, swallowing dirt and cusswords, 

 before the mechanism was in position for 

 another try. Between swallows I sang, 

 loud and vociferously. Thus hopping and 

 rolling, I reached the outskirts of town. 

 There I stacked the wheel against the 

 fence, went through the gate and climbed 

 aboard. There are, of course, other ways 

 to mount, but they are sometimes unsat- 

 isfactory. 



Bob Smith came into the store that 

 night to ask why I didn't go to the pic- 

 nic. It's a good thing for Bob that I was 

 a little dejected. Otherwise it might 

 have gone hard with him. The picnic 

 really occurred, at another place; but Bob 

 had forgotten to tell me of the change of 

 plan. 



AMATEUR PHOTO BY DR. J. B. PERDOE. 



A BEAUTY SPOT. 

 Winner of 16th prize in Recreation's 4th Annual Photo Competition. 



