228 



RECREATION, 



One fool has got what he deserves. His 



other name is Frederick Schmidt. He and 

 Carl Kauffmann started out, on New 

 Year's eve, with a big tin horn, to have 

 some fun. They got more of it than they 

 wanted. At 58th street they stood under a 

 window and blew loud blasts on the horn. 

 A man pushed up the window and told 

 them to quit. Then they blew still louder. 

 The occupant of the house went into the 

 street and attacked the men. He knocked 

 the horn out of Kauffmann's hand, but it 

 was quickly picked up by Schmidt, who 

 blew a loud blast in the man's ear. He 

 struck at the horn again and made a bull's- 

 eye, driving the mouthpiece through 

 Schmidt's cheek, and severing 2 arteries. 

 Then he went to bed and the noise ceased. 

 Schmidt was taken to a hospital, where a 

 doctor sewed up his jaw. As he left the 

 station he mumbled, "I have a happy New 

 Year's, ain't it; 



If all the tin horn idiots who disturb the 

 peace could be fed on their horns as this 

 chap was they might in time learn to re- 

 spect the rights of people who like to go 

 to sleep at a reasonable hour. 



which numerous species arc known. Phc 



feet are completely feathered. Most of the 

 species are brown in summer, but turn 

 white or nearly white in winter." 



Both lawyers examined the birds which 

 were in court and failed to find any feathers 

 on their feet. The utter falsity of the de- 

 fendant's claim was thus readily estab- 

 lished, and the culprit was fined a good 

 round sum. 



It is unfortunate that Tilton cannot be 

 sent to prison now on a charge of perjury. 

 There is no such bird known to science as 

 an Oklahoma ptarmigan, and no doubt 

 Tilton and his attorney both knew this 

 when they made the claim in court. 



F. O. Tilton, of Minneapolis, Minn., was 

 recently arrested on a charge of selling 

 ruffed grouse in close season. His lawyer 

 made a claim in court that tlie birds were 

 not ruffed grouse, but "Oklahoma ptarmi- 

 gans." This claim surprised the court, but 

 the prosecuting attorney soon produced a 

 copy of Webster's Dictionary, which says 

 that a ptarmigan is: 



"A grouse of the genus Lagopus, of 



On my hunting trip in Newfoundland, in 

 October last, I had the satisfaction of 

 making a thorough test of one of Aber- 

 crombie's Pantasote rain coats, and found 

 it a most admirable protection. On the 

 day we went up the Humber river, and 

 again on the day we came down, it rained 

 from morning till night; yet the only 

 places where the coat wet through were on 

 the sides where my arms rubbed against it 

 in paddling. But little water went through 

 there — not enough to wet my clothing — 

 so I landed at night dry as a bone. The 

 other fellows who were not so fortunate 

 were wet to the skin, and I considered my- 

 self in great luck to have had one of these 

 shelters. If you ever expect to need one 

 write to D. T. Abercrombie & Co., 36 

 South Street, New York City, for a cata- 

 logue, and say you saw it mentioned in 

 Recreation. 



PEARY AND THE POLE. 



A. L. VERMILYA. 



On an ice floe cold and gloomy, in the 



dreary northern seas, 

 Stands a box car from the Erie railway 



line 

 And a man is splashing sadly 'round in 



slush up to his knees, 

 Hunting for the pole, or of it track or 



sign. 

 He is searching for the meanest, tricky 



thing in all the land, 

 For that slipp'ry, dodging, sneaking, shift- 

 ing pole; 

 And at last when he's discovered just the 



place where it should stand, 

 He will probably find nothing but the hole. 



For it's Peary, gallant Peary, 

 In his box car from the Erie, 

 Squatting on a large and chilly hunk of 



drifting glacial ice; 

 And he's getting rather leary, 

 While his eyes are growing bleary, 

 Watching, searching for the North pole 



in the gloaming. 



With his men he lives on blubber, walrus 



meat, and other stuff. 

 Or an Arctic bird, which now and then he 



shoots — 

 But the time is surely coming if they stay 



there long enough, 

 When they'll have to eat their leather 



pants and boots. 

 If they'd chuck the foolish business, let 



the frigid region slide, 

 Alan their boat and sail away to warmer 



seas, 

 It would give some other fellow, with a 



patent, oil-tanned hide, 

 Chance to go up North and stand around 



and freeze. 



Then come back, brave, daring Peary! 



We are sure you must be weary! 



Take your box car and your blubber, and 



return to Christian lands; 

 For it can't be very cheery, 

 And it must be rather "skeery," 

 Watching dashing, crashing icebergs in 



the gloaming. 



