72 



RECREATION. 



our little boy. He seemed sorry for me, 

 and said he was glad his wife wasn't an 

 amateur artist. He said he could now un- 

 derstand why I liked to spend so much of 

 my time in the mountains. 



I made up my mind, then and there, that 

 the picture must come down before any 

 more of my friends got to see it; but how 

 to get it down? I lay awake nearly all the 

 first night in camp, trying to think of some 

 plan to work out on my return home; but 

 to no purpose. I at last fell into a troubled 

 sleep, only to dream that a big coyote had 

 old Tiger by one paw. 



" There is a tide in the affairs of men that, 

 taken at its flood, leads on to " — floating 

 pictures down the Arkansaw river. The 

 '\tide " was ready when we got back to 

 town. You see, the Ladies' Library As- 

 sociation got up an " Art Loan Exhibi- 

 tion," of home talent, and all our artists, 

 my wife included, sent their choice pictures 

 to the exhibit. They were so afraid 

 " something would happen to them," they 

 would not trust them to an expressman, but 

 hired a man to carry each picture to and 

 from the Library. 



Well, I just laid low till the show was 

 over. Then I gave the fellow, who toted 

 the pictures $2, and told him to drop our 

 " Art Exhibit " into the river, and call it an 

 accident. 



The scheme worked slicker than the ac- 

 tion of a new Savage rifle. I cussed the 

 fellow for being so careless, and let on to 

 my wife to feel awful sorry. I made so 

 much fuss she promised to paint another 

 picture just like it. Then you bet I shut 

 up, for fear she would. 



Now, Phceby, just tell Dan'l, if he is go- 

 ing to keep on being an amateur photog- 

 rapher, you '11 start in and be an amateur 

 artist. Give it to him in small doses at first. 

 A full charge, on the start, might kill him; 

 and of course you don't want to do that. 

 So give it light at first, and I'll guarantee 

 that before you reach the " portrait pe- 

 riod," you'll have Dan'l so sick of it he'll 

 cuss the day old Eastman was born, and 

 wish the whole kodak outfit, with its $5,000,- 

 000 capital and its 1,500 employees, at the 

 bottom of Manila bay, with the Spanish 

 fleet. 



Try it, Phceby dear, and remember that 

 I'm 



Yours to get even with Dan'l, 



Coyote Bill. 



When Adam at night carried the babies 

 about, 

 Because they would fret and complain, 

 He was, quite beyond any shadow of doubt, 

 The first man to walk with a Cain. 



— L. A. W. Bulletin. 



WHERE SOME OF THE BUFFALO WE^T. 



Here is a letter that speaks for itself. My 

 son who is travelling in the far West, found 

 it in an old deserted shack, where Fort Mc- 

 Pherson formerly stood. 



L. C. Burnett, Sr., Nebraska City, Neb. 



The letter is as follows: 



Julesburg, Kans., November 30, 'J2>- 

 Mr. Haight: 



Dear Sir: Yours received, and in reply 

 would say the understanding was that I was 

 to ship to Mr. Anst, and only put the meat 

 on the cars at any station of the U. P. R. R., 

 not West of Julesburg, and then concern 

 myself no further about it. The railroad, 

 however, demands prepayment (or guaran- 

 tee from me of payment of freight). As I 

 do not know Mr. Anst, in any way what- 

 ever, I do not wish to guarantee anything 

 for him. I did do it, however, on the first 

 shipment (1,535 pounds) rather than wait 

 for your reply. 



In the future, as you request, I will ship 

 to you, and guarantee payment of freight, 

 as I shall know then with whom I am deal- 

 ing; but Mr. Anst being an entire stranger, 

 you can see that I would not like to render 

 myself liable to the extent of freight on 

 5,000 pounds of meat to Omaha. 



All my shipments to you, of buffalo hams, 

 will be in sacks, as compensation for not 

 having the hair on. I will not send any 

 meat that I do not consider worth skin- 

 ning for the robes — as old bulls — and if 

 there are any doubts, I will show my robes 

 on arriving at North Platte. 



Further, any arrangements in regard to 

 the meat, freight, etc., you may make with 

 Col. Mills, of the Post, I will abide by, as 

 the hunt is purely for the benefit of the 

 company, in robes and meat. 



I ship you to-day some meat, and I think 

 enough, with the amount sent to Mr. Anst, 

 and another equal shipment, to fill my con- 

 tract — 5,200 pounds. 



Yours respectfully, 



Fred. Schwatke, 

 Lt. 3d Cavalry. 



It is sad to think that army officers, who 

 should have been charged with the protec- 

 tion of the buffalo, could descend to the 

 level of common market hunters and skin 

 hunters. — Editqr. 



When June with her warmth holds her 

 sweltering sway, 



Then it's ho! for the country all Summer 

 to stay. 



But the farmers who hoe till they're blis- 

 tered and brown, 



They'd like to quit hoeing and ho! for the 

 town. — L. A. W. Bulletin. 



There's many a merchant in many a town 

 Who has marked his feather pillows down. 



The man who is unable to work and 

 smoke at the same time usually smokes. 



