178 



EEC RE A TION. 



" Pax vobiscum! Sheathe your swords 

 and be friends, gentlemen. What so en- 

 raged the Lord Admiral Paresis? Why so 

 agitated, Coeur de Lion? " This last to the 

 Microbe who had swallowed the cigarette 

 in the melee and found it seriously dis- 

 agreeing with him. 



Paresis had been loaned the country 

 house of a confiding friend, for the month 

 of November, and he, the Novice and the 

 Microbe were preparing for a moonlight 

 bicycle ride and the consequent edification 

 of the nearest village. 



Before mounting his wheel, the wary 

 Microbe, profiting by his experience of the 

 innate cussedness of a sword, unhooked 

 and strapped to the handle bars his two 

 handed crusader's blade, while his compan- 

 ions jeered. 



His judgment was vindicated by Paresis' 

 weapon getting into the spokes of the rear 

 wheel and pitching its bearer on a stone 

 heap, where he lost his temper and a large 

 strip of cuticle from his Grecian proboscis. 



Beyond starting 2 promising runaways, 

 and convincing an aged inebriate that he 

 " had 'em again," the ride was uneventful 

 until Mamaroneck was reached. Here the 

 piratical trio dismounted and filed into a 

 cigar store. 



" Holy Moses! " yelled the proprietor, 

 and made a break for the door. 



He was too late, however; the Novice 

 and Paresis crossed swords in front of him 

 and barred his way. 



Finding escape cut off in that direction, 

 and paying no attention to the Microbe's 

 request for " Three for a quarter, mild," he 

 jumped for the show window. There was a 

 crash, a distribution of smoker's articles, 

 and a badly scared individual was hastily 

 seeking protection of the police force, with 

 the best efforts of both lungs and legs. 



" I fear that the place is about to be 

 pulled," said Paresis, regretfully. " and I 

 propose to wander before that event!" 



After wandering 3 miles in 15 minutes 

 they approached a wayside hostelry whose 

 cafe was tenanted by a belligerent appear- 

 ing barkeeper and 3 sleepy farmers. 



" Good evening, gentlemen," said the 

 Microbe, pleasantly, " Allow me to intro- 

 duce my friends The Novice and Paresis of 

 the Keeley Institute, and myself, Richard 

 Cceur de Lion, late of London, Jerusalem 

 and Rouen. Have one on me. Three beers 

 please; what'll you have? " 



How the crusader purposed disposing of 

 that beer without doffing his helmet had 

 been puzzling Paresis. 



His speculations were ended by the 

 Microbe's producing a length of rubber 

 tubing from a pocket, and placing one 

 end in the schooner and the other in his 

 mouth. 



" A little idea of my own, evolved in the 

 Holy Land," he observed. 



" Be you fellers^ play actors? " asked one 

 bucolic individual, gazing at the ballet skirt 

 of the Novice. 



" No, my friend," said Paresis, " we are 

 the incarnation of the distant past." 



" Spirits, be jabbers! " shrieked the bar- 

 tender. " I'm goin' for a priest." And he 

 went. 



" Who have an affinity for other spirits," 

 added Paresis, carefully pocketing a bottle 

 of whiskey which had been standing on the 

 bar, and before the remaining audience had 

 recovered from their surprise at the au- 

 dacity of the move, the cyclists were spin- 

 ning homeward with the spoils of war. 



What the whiskey lacked in quality it 

 possessed in quantity. The Microbe re- 

 tired that night without removing his hel- 

 met and dreamed that he was one of the 

 princes in the tower, undergoing a lengthy 

 process of suffocation; while his compan- 

 ions in crime, having carefully put their 

 clothes to bed, endeavored to hang them- 

 selves on the clothes tree, much to the 

 detriment of that article of furniture. 



AN IMPOSSIBILITY. 



It was a Cuban drama 



And the actor's face was sad. 

 Quoth he, " To play the villain 



Is really too bad; 

 But injury with insult 



Is mingled and I'll quit. 

 If I play ' the Spanish gunner,' 



How can I make a hit? " 



— Washington Star. 



