XXIV 



RECREATION. 



A MIX UP WITH A GAME HOG. 



BILL BROKEN OSE. 



I keep a sort of hotel at Frog Holler. 

 Mebbe you've heard of it. Lots of fellers 

 come to my place a sportin'. Any time 

 you want to try it, jest foller Bullpout 

 creek, South from the road, till you come 

 to Pollywog pond. Then you'll see my 

 hostillery. You can't miss it 'cause you'll 

 have to come through my garden spot and 

 you'll hear me a hollerin' to you to git 

 out. 



Last fall 2 fellers came down and said 

 they would like to stay a couple of weeks 

 a huntin' and a fishin'. I told 'em they 

 could stay as long as they could pay.. They 

 said that was all right and to let 'em know 

 when the time was up. They had the big-, 

 gest lot of guns and truck I ever seen. 



Next mornin', when they was goin' a 

 huntin', one of 'em sez, "Do you like iVIag- 

 gie Zenes?" 



I told him I didn't know any woman by 

 that name. 



"Who's talkin' 'bout women?" sez he. 

 "I've got some old maggie zenes in my 

 trunk and p'raps you might like to look 

 at 'em." 



Then I remembered that a maggie zene 

 was a part of a gun. I didn't know just 

 what part, but I'd heard fellers talk about 

 emptyin' 'em at a deer. So I sez, "Well, 

 if they ain't loaded I'll look 'em over for 

 you and p'raps ile 'em up." 



The feller went in the house and brought 

 out 2 or 3 books, and gave 'em to me and 

 sez, "I think you will like these." 



"But," sez I, "where is the maggie 

 zenes?" 



"You've got 'em in your hand," he sez. 



"What are you tryin' to stuff me with?" 

 sez I, gettin' my dander up. "Don't you 

 suppose I know a book from a maggie 

 zene?" 



They both laffed and went off without 

 sayin' nothin', but they couldn't josh me, 

 nohow. So I sot down to look at the 

 books. They was the Re-creations and 

 I liked 'em first rate. There was bully 

 pictures in 'em of birds and animals, and 

 there was one fine picture of a man with a 

 big pile of fish. I bet there was over 200 

 of 'em. Gee whillikins ! the feller was 

 lucky if he wasn't han'some. A'cordin' to 

 the book his name was A. Western Shoat 



It took me nearly a week to read them 

 books, but I read every word in 'em. In 

 one it said there was a game hog a rav- 

 ?gin' the country, and I thought if the 

 fellers could only kill it it would make a 

 diff'ence in the grub. They had been 

 gittin' only deer, and hog meat would have 

 tasted good after so much deer. I spoke 

 to the fellers about it and they winked at 

 each other and laffed, and said they wished 

 they could run across that hog. But they 

 didn't git it 



One Sunday mornin' the fellers started 

 out, but pretty soon they came back and 



stood their guns against the house and 

 said they wouldn't go a shootin' till after- 

 noon. They hadn't killed nothin' for 

 some time and meat was gettin' scarce. I 

 kept thinkin' about that hog and how 

 mighty fillin' he'd be for dinner. At last 

 I took one of the guns without the fellers 

 knowin' it, and went out the back way with 

 my mind made up to find that hog. 



I knew a spot about a mile off that I 

 thought was a good enough rootin' place 

 for any hog, and I went there. I got to 

 where I was headin', in due season, but I 

 couldn't find no hog. I hunted all around 

 without findin' him till I thought it was 

 time to be gittin' home. I was almost back 

 when I heard a most awful scratchin' and 

 a tearin' in the bushes close to me. There 

 was a big log right handy, and I got be- 

 hind it kind of quick. I just had time to 

 shove the gun across the log to'ards the 

 noise when out rushed somethin' as big 

 as a horse and a comin' right for me. I 

 didn't lose no time pullin' the trigger, and 

 jest then somethin' hit me plumb in the 

 face and knocked me 5 feet and over. 1 

 don't know to this day if it was the hog 

 or if I was hit by lightnin'. I thought my 

 time had come anyway, so I just lay still 

 and shut my eyes and said prayers. Before 

 I got to amen somethin' began to bark like 

 all creation. I was curious to know what 

 kind of a hog could bark, so I opened my 

 eyes a bit. Darn me if there was any hog 

 there ; nothin' but my old dog Toze, a 

 barkin' for keeps. I reckon he'd drove 

 the critter away. 



Well, my face was all covered with blood 

 and my nose was so sore I couldn't touch 

 it. Thinks I, "that's enough huntin' for 

 me," so I picked up the gun and went 

 home. The fellers was astandin' outside 

 and they asked me what was the matter. 

 I told 'em I'd been a huntin' that game 

 hog. 



"Did you find it?" sez they. 



"I did, you know," sez I, "and I vvisht 

 I hadn't." 



They laffed and sez if I couldn't do bet- 

 ter than that I'd better quit huntin'. One 

 of 'em told me my nose was broke and 

 that the gun kicked me ; they thought they 

 could stuff me; jest as if I didn't know 

 that a gun hasn't any feet to kick with. 



That was the last time I went a huntin', 

 but I'm willin' to cook game if other fel- 

 lers will bring it in. If ever you want to 

 come here to hunt jest let me know, 

 Mebbe you could find that hog ; he is too 

 game for me. I like your book and would 

 send you $1 for it, only I forgot- to tell 

 those fellers when the time was up and 

 they went away without paying me. 



Captain — What is strategy in war? "Give 

 me an instance of it. 



Sergeant — Shtrategy is whin ye don't let 

 the enimy dishcover that ye'r' out of am- 

 munition, but kape roight on foirjn\ — The 

 Moon, 



