208 
that awful stillness of the universe holding 
its breath in suspense. 
“‘Wo-o-0-0-00!” went a hoot owl on the 
hill. Souse! went Uncle Elias, 6 feet out 
into the middle of the deep hole. The water 
closed over his head and the spray sprinkled 
the tall hemlocks. The old residenter bur- 
rowed under a stone, where for 3 days and 
nights he did not venture to wave a fin. 
Uncle Elias rose to the surface and struck 
out for the shore. Snorting and blowing 
like a porpoise, he waded in under the dead 
sycamores. 
There on her log he found the partner of 
his joys, his sorrows and his fishing, writh- 
ing in merriment, doubling in convulsions 
of unholy and unconjugal laughter. 
“Woman! Woman!” sputtered Uncle 
Elias feelingly. 
RECREATION. 
They went home at a little trot. Even in 
June the night air has a chill for one who 
has been drenched with spring water. Aunt 
Sally Ann tied her little shoulder cape over 
Uncle Elias’ head that he might not take ear 
ache. The attention was received in grim 
silence. 
As they entered their gate in the light 
that shone through the big window of the 
post office across the way, Aunt Sally Ann 
stuffed her apron in her mouth. She was 
not quick enough. Uncle Elias heard the 
smothered sound and tore off the little 
shoulder cape. 
“Woman,” he said: with dignity, as he un- 
tied the clinging duster, “woman, a few 
more such light minded pranks and I will 
be justified in applying for a legal separa- 
tion.’ 
HIS CHANGE OF VIEW. 
CANDICE A, 
There was a man in our town, and he was 
wondrous wise. 
The things that man knew how to do would 
fill you with surprise. 
He said his wife should be ashamed to talk 
of overwork; 
She had scarce anything to do, and only 
wished to shirk. 
*Twas men, he said, who toiled and moiled, 
from rise to set of sun; 
Their wives just bustled round a bit and 
all their work was done. 
One day this man, in pleasant mood, de- 
clared his wife should go 
Upon a visit to a friend and stay a week 
or so. 
And when she spoke about the work, he’d 
do it all, he said; 
It wouldn’t take a man all day to sweep 
and make a bed. 
And so the wife went on her way and left 
her spouse alone; 
The story of the next two days would melt 
a heart of stone. 
BRAMBLE, 
He tried to wash the dishes first; oh, yes, 
he truly tried! 
He burned his hand and spoiled his coat 
before the cups were dried. 
To tell of all that followed then, would be, 
I think, unkind; 
But long before the day had passed that 
wise man changed his mind. 
And ere the second day went by, a weary, 
jaded man, 
He sent this message to his wife: “Come 
home, soon as you can.” 
And when she came. Oh, me! Oh, my! 
What chaos met her sight! 
Her tidy house was all upset and in a 
dreadful plight. 
Her husband, wilted and unstrung, met 
her with visage grim, 
And she—I think I’ll have to skip the 
things, she said to him. 
But now he never brags at all about his 
wisdom rare, 
And says he thinks of toil and care a 
woman has her share. 
Mother—What are you crying for, child? 
“Johnny hurt me.” 
“How ?” 
“IT was going to hit him with my fist, 
when he ducked his head and I struck the 
wall.” —Exchange, 
